If your good times always felt tense and off, and you started to dread occasions and stopped sharing your good news, that’s no coincidence. That was someone who couldn’t tolerate your joy, and needed the attention back onto them… #I#Itsnotyougaslighting #narcissitic #traumahealing #selfrespect

It took me years to really see the patterns, to really believe the patterns of this individual in my life. It wasn't just one big thing this person did believe me. It was loads of small things. One of the patterns that I really noticed was the pattern where my excitement or my good news would be met with silence or distance. You know, like my really important milestones in my life, they were met with flat reactions. They would always be moving on to another subject rather than speaking about what was good in my life. So all my good times, they never felt right and they always felt tense. It wasn't enough for me to call it out because the way that they behaved was confusing but they definitely behaved in a way that took the shine off what was happening in my life. That's what happens to these types of people as in, these types of people mess with your head. You see because on the outside, everything can look alright. It looks fine. There's no big fights. There's no obvious drama anyway. There's probably plenty behind your back but it's very much about them, you know, being subtle in their behaviour. So they're making these underhand little comments and digs just small ways to get their attention back to themselves. And over time, you start clocking them right. And this person that happened to notice that they were actually like this with other people. They were very much jealous and envious of how people were doing and if somebody had achieved something in life or somebody had something, they had to find a way to get them back to the centre of everything, you know. And you notice it the way that they do it because they'll do it over and over and over again around happy times, Christmas, birthdays, engagements, you know, getting a new car or weddings, all these things, right. And it's not a coincidence. It's narcissistic behaviours. It's not loud and it's not that obvious way but it is insidious and it is quiet. And that's the kind of behaviours that makes you doubt yourself. And that's where you can actually start to lose yourself about because you stop sharing, you stop getting excited about the things that you normally would have got excited or that you deserve to be excited about. You stay small, you keep everything to yourself, you stop sharing things and you're walking around and eggshells around your own life. And that's because this person is conditioning you. But once you see the pattern of these manipulative individuals, you stop doubting yourself. And you then realise that you have choice and you can make a decision whether or not this person stays in your life. And in my case, that's exactly what I did and I decided to stay back very quietly.