day 162 | you can’t let your anger speak for you. #juisipo #journaling #journalprompt #fyp

I hate the person I become when I'm mad because it feels like all the work I've done to grow, all the softness I've tried to build, all the ways I'm learning to be gentle, it all disappears in a moment. And suddenly I'm saying things I don't really mean. Words sharper than I ever intended, hurting people I love because I don't know what else to do with the feeling boiling inside me. And the worst part is anger makes me feel unrecognizable. I watch myself in the outside, watch the tone shift, watch my walls shoot up, watch my patience collapse, and I think that's not who I want to be, that's not who I believe I am. But in the moment it feels like something else takes over, something older, something wounded, something that's been waiting for any excuse to spill out. And afterward, when the anger fades, I'm left with the guilt, the heaviness in my chest, the ache of knowing my words landed somewhere they shouldn't have. I apologize, I reflect, I promise myself I'll do better next time. And I mean it, I really do. So I'm just trying to learn to slow down, to breathe before I speak, to name the hurt instead of weaponizing it, to become someone I recognize, even in the moments I feel most overwhelmed, someone who doesn't let anger drown out love, someone who can stay soft, even when something inside me wants to break. See you tomorrow for day 163.