TikTok Video

When you finally start chasing your dreams, you're very quickly going to go from optimistic to fucking hopeless. And here's why there's this thing called the emotional cycles of change and they're used to describe what somebody goes through when they try to change or achieve something. And the first stage is always uninformed optimism. So let's think about your goal. Maybe it's going to the gym and losing weight or it's putting on muscle or it's moving to a new city or it's moving out of your family's house or it's making new friends or it's starting to date again or it's starting a business. Whatever the fuck your goal is, think about it. When you haven't started working towards that goal yet, you're uninformed on what it takes to achieve it, but you're excited because you're imagining the life where you have achieved that goal. So you're an uninformed optimist. Most people spend their entire life here and very few go on to the next stage, which is called informed pessimism. As soon as you go to the gym for the first week or you move to the new city or you move out of your parents house or you start trying to date again, you very quickly realize how fucking hard it's going to be to actually change and do the things you want. So now you are informed on what it takes to eat clean to go to the gym to put yourself out there to cold call people and try to get customers and you're pessimistic because now you think to yourself, wow, I don't know if I have what it fucking takes. This is way more than I thought it would be. This was way more exciting when I didn't have to actually do the work and I could just fantasize about how good my life was going to be. And that's where most people actually quit. So most people never start trying, but the few who do often end up quitting because they very quickly realize how hard it's going to be. So this is for the people who are working on their goals right now and absolutely eating shit. I spent the last month making content for my business, which we had never done before to try and get more customers. Over the course of the month, we got 10 booked calls, which is really exciting. 10 people who never knew about us before watched a video of mine and said, wow, I think I want to work with this guy. Fast forward, we took all 10 of those calls and not a single one of those people wanted to work with us. In fact, most of them ghosted us after the call and I'm sure you can imagine how that felt. It was fucking depressing. This is the third stage of the emotional cycles of change. It is the valley of despair. This is where you feel completely fucking hopeless. You don't know what it takes to succeed anymore. You don't know if you're even making the right choices. You don't know if you should be doing something different. The way it's not coming off as fast as you wanted it to. The muscles not coming on as fast as you wanted it to. People aren't responding to your DMs when you're trying to make friends. You're starting to think about moving back into your parent's house because you can't find a fucking apartment that you want to live in. Whatever you're working on just isn't working at the rate that you wanted it to. And so you're thinking about giving up. What I have been trying to tell myself is that this is exactly where you're supposed to be because in order to get to the fourth and final stage, which is an informed optimist, you have to very clearly understand what it's going to fucking take and pay the tax that is the gap between where you are and where you want to be. Whether it's with skill, whether it's with charisma or discipline or motivation or whatever it is that you're trying to pay off to become the person you want to be and to change. Finally, you reach the fourth stage, which is an informed optimist. This morning, I woke up and had an email in my inbox from one of those people we met with last week saying that they wanted to move forward. I'm not saying that I have life figured out I'm just saying that I finally had a shred of a moment where I thought that maybe I am the person that I want to become and that was such a meaningful moment for me. And it's the reason why I'm making this video because I think there are a lot of people who are either informed pessimists or in the value of despair right now. Feeling like it's never going to actually happen and I want to make this to encourage you to continue doing whatever it is that you're trying to do because you are right where you're supposed to be if you're suffering and eating shit right now. And it's impossible to hear that. Trust me, I've watched plenty of videos in the last week telling me the same things and I've thought to myself, fuck you, you're lying. This isn't right. I should be doing something different or something else or not doing anything at all anymore. You have to tell yourself that this is where you're supposed to be and that you're paying that tax to become the person that you want to become and that the reason this is so difficult is because it's the price of becoming the kind of person you want to be. So whatever your goal is, think about that process of going from somebody who knew nothing about what it took to do this and being optimistic to where you are now. You are right where you're supposed to be and if you continue with this path that you're on, you will get to exactly where you want to go. Yeah, that's all I have to say. Keep going.