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We broke up 6 years ago and I had no idea if we were ever going to find our way back to each other. What I did know was that I was 31 and all my relationships kept ending the same way. If I wanted a different outcome, I needed to take responsibility for my part, and that meant I had to face the parts of myself I’d spent years avoiding. Here are 5 hard truths I had to look at: 1. I wasn’t just heartbroken, I was addicted to the emotional highs and lows. 2. That push-pull pattern felt like chemistry, but it was actually just that my nervous system had normalized chaos and then would mistaken it for love. 3. I thought I was being caring and kind but really I was abandoning myself to make others comfortable and then feeling resentful when they wouldn’t do the same for me. 4. My boundaries were blurry and all over the place because I thought love meant sacrificing myself. 5. I thought if I just said it the right way, I could convince them to stay but over-explaining isn’t connection. It’s a trauma response. I needed constant reassurance because I didn’t know how to give it to myself. The anxiety wasn’t about them. It was about parts of me that still felt unloved and unsafe. I believed that if they came back, everything would be okay but the real healing began when I stopped waiting for them and started coming home to myself. If you’re in that tender in-between… I see you. ✨And if you’re wondering whether codependency is negatively impacting your relationships type “QUIZ” in the comments and I’ll send you my free codependency quiz to help you get clarity.✨ This work changed my life, so I’m sharing it with you in case it helps you too 🙏🏾 Follow if you want to learn more about healing codependency through shadow work and inner child healing 💛 #fyp #relationships #codependency #anxiousattachment #breakup
@alyssaaazander678.2K views25.8K likes0:06ENMar 15, 2026
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