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Can’t see em going for that..

@patsmithcomedy
1.5M views142.8K likes1:34ENMar 16, 2026
295 words1483 characters27 sentencesReadability: Grade 3

Transcript

Okay, I think we can all agree, everything here is a little bit too Chinese. All the restaurants and cafes and that for a start, way too many noodles, I don't eat noodles. You know, we're going to need pie and mash, ham and chips. I mean, you need the cater to me, yeah? No? I don't think you understand. I'm not from here, okay? I left the UK because I didn't like it, all right? So I need you to change everything to make it feel like it's the UK, yeah? Still no, is it? Right, okay. Well, also, I can't really work at the minute, anxiety, yeah. So, when do I get my money? Obviously, you've got a few kids at home and also there, they're going to need to come here. That's a no-brainer. Why did you keep saying no? I've noticed as well, there's a lot of Chinese people here as well, and so I was thinking we could get loads of me over here and we have our own little area and then you lot can just fuck off. Does that sound good? It doesn't. Well, no, hear me out because I was thinking if we get loads of me over here, then we can vote in, you know, one of me to be in charge. And then we can all start telling you lot out live. And after that, I was going to organize some marches where we go through the streets, charting anti-Chinese sentiments. Obviously, you'll need to protect us while we do that. Desson though as well, is it? Oh, and finally, I am here illegally. Yeah, didn't respect the rules on that one. So, do I just choose any hotel or have you got certain prison?