People see you the way at you talk about others. Psychologists John Skowronski and Mae McGlone first identified this effect as Spontaneous Trait Transference: our brains unconsciously link the traits we describe in others to us.

Have you ever noticed that people who speak kindly about others seem kinder themselves? That is not a coincidence, it is psychology. It's called the social transference phenomenon. Research shows that when you describe someone, whether as kind, hardworking, or even reliable, people who are listening unconsciously associate those same traits with you. If you say, "Pete is so thoughtful," people are more likely to see you as thoughtful. And it works the other way too, if you spread gossip about how Sarah is always flaky, guess what? People start associating you with negativity. Your words shape how people see you. Speak positively and you will attract the same in return.