getting demoted when your bestie gets a boyfriend (and being afraid of a man slowing my roll) 🤷🏼‍♀️

your friendship with a girlfriend really does change when one of you gets a boyfriend and I think that this is something that we should more openly talk about. I've got to do my best to articulate this idea. When you're both single, there is a mutual prioritization. You're both thinking of one another. There's a conscientiousness about inviting each other places especially. Like, if I get invited somewhere cool and I don't tell one of my other single besties, it's kind of like what the fuck? We look out for each other. But then when she gets a boyfriend, I know she loves me dearly, that does not change. But I am no longer her number one priority. I get demoted. And I know people will say, well, you should prioritize your boyfriend and your friends equally. And while I completely agree, I don't know if I see enough examples of that where it really is truly equal to feel confident in it. And you want your friendships to feel balanced, right? Like, I'm not going to put someone at number one if I'm not their number one. If your boyfriend becomes number one for you, that's great. But you will now not be my number one either. I know for a fact that this holds me back romantically because I am so terrified of being the friend to demote other friends because I myself have been demoted and promoted so many times in my 28 years because I am a chronically single friend in the squad. I've talked about this on TikTok before. I'm really trying to work on it. But I look at my life and I'm like, I have so many good things going right now. The writing workshops TikTok. I just signed with a new management. I'm moving more on that soon. And I look at my life and I'm like, a man would fuck this up. I would become lazy. I wouldn't be as driven. I wouldn't try as hard. And it's like, why do I think that? Because I've observed and witnessed it. I'm not pulling this out of nowhere to be honest. And of course, I want to call in a partner who maximizes my potential, who inspires me creatively, who funds me writing fuck. You know, whatever. Of course, I want that. I don't know. Am I crazy? I don't see it all that often. I follow a girl who I have witnessed her development. Undoing since she got with this boyfriend. She used to be like such a light, so healthy, glowing. And I'm like, oh my God, how does she not see that he is sucking her energy and her soul? That shit scares me, especially because I have a lot of good things happening for me right now. I do think it's hard to talk about sometimes. No one wants to say it. But I always will.