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"My husband left me after I confessed I didn't love our adopted child. We adopted me when she was four. She's seven now. My husband Daniel wanted kids for years, but I couldn't have any. Medical stuff. After like five fertility treatments that didn't work, he brought up adoption. I said yes because I figured I'd grow into it. That's what everyone says, right? You'll bond with them. It'll click. Just give it time. Three years later, it still hadn't clicked. Don't get me wrong. I took care of her. I packed her lunches, drove her to school, helped with homework. Red bedtime stories. Did all the mom stuff, but it felt like I was babysitting someone else's kid every single day. Daniel was the complete opposite. He was obsessed with her. He'd come home from work and immediately ask me to come back. where Mia was. They'd build LEGO sets together for hours. He taught her how to ride a bike in our driveway. When she scraped her knee, he was the one putting on the band-aids and making up songs about brave nights. I watched them together and felt nothing, just this empty space where I guess I was supposed to feel something. The confession happened on a Tuesday. Mia was at her friend's house for a sleepover. Daniel and I were sitting in the kitchen eating leftover pizza. He was scrolling through his phone, showing me pictures from Mia's school field trip that one of the other parents had posted. "Look at her face in this one," he said grinning. "She's so excited about the dinosaur exhibit. I put my pizza slice down. Can I tell you something? Yeah, what's up? I don't love her. He didn't look up from his phone at first. What? Mia, I don't love her. I've been trying to for three years and I just don't. Now he looked at me. His face went completely blank. You're joking. I'm not. I've been faking it this whole time. I do everything I'm supposed to do, but I don't feel anything. I keep waiting for it to happen, and it hasn't. He put his phone down on the table. Why are you telling me this? Because I'm tired. I'm tired of pretending. I thought maybe if I set it out loud, we could figure something out. Figure what out? How to fix the fact that you don't love our daughter? She's not my daughter. That's the problem. She's yours. I see how you are with her and I just, I'm not like that. I don't know how to be like that. Daniel stood up. He grabbed his keys off the counter. Where are you going? I asked. I need to not be here right now. He left. I heard his car start in the driveway and then pull out. I finished my pizza slice and cleaned up the kitchen. When I went to bed, his side was empty. He came back the next morning while I was making coffee. He didn't say anything. Just went upstairs and started packing a bag. I stood in the doorway of our bedroom, watching him throw clothes into a duffel. Daniel, I'm staying at my brother's place. For how long? I don't know. I need to think. About what? He stopped packing and looked at me. About whether I can be married to someone who doesn't love my kid. Our kid, I said. But it sounded wrong even as I said it. No, you just made it clear she's not yours. He zipped up the bag and walked past me down the stairs. I followed him to the front door. What about Mia? What are we going to tell her? I'll pick her up from school today. She'll stay with me at my brothers. I'll figure out what to tell her. You're taking her? Yeah, I am. He opened the door and left. I stood there looking at the empty driveway for probably ten minutes before I went back inside. That was six weeks ago. He filed for divorce three weeks after he moved out. We did the paperwork through lawyers. He wants full custody. I didn't fight it. I saw Mia once since then. Daniel brought her by to pick up some of her toys she'd forgotten. She ran straight to her room without looking at me. Daniel stood in the doorway the whole time. Arms crossed. When Mia came back down with a stuffed elephant she hugged it to her chest and asked Daniel if they could leave. "Yeah, we can go," he said. Mia walked out first. Daniel looked at me for a second before following her. No words. Just that look. The divorce should be finalized in about two months. Daniel's keeping the house since Mia's school is nearby. I'm moving into an apartment across town. My lawyer said I'll probably have to pay child support, which is whatever. I already transferred the first payment last week. My mom called yesterday asking what happened. Daniel's mom must have told her. I gave her the short version. We're getting divorced. He has Mia. I'm moving out. But why? She kept asking. You two seemed fine. We weren't fine. Did he cheat? Did you cheat? No. Nothing like that. Then what happened? I almost told her the truth but stopped myself. Instead, I said, "We just wanted different things." She didn't buy it but eventually dropped it. I'm supposed to have supervised visitation rights once a month after the divorce.
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