8 years of therapy in 60 seconds on how to heal from a toxic relationship #toxicfree #selfhealing #relationshipadvice #MentalHealth #selflove

Here's eight years of therapy in about 60 seconds on how to heal after a toxic relationship. When my ex left me, I was a shell of fucking human. I was maybe a hundred pounds soaking wet and couldn't even function to get through my day. The number one thing that I learned was you got to allow yourself to feel the feelings, but you have to start to challenge your thoughts. Just because they called you a piece of shit doesn't mean you actually fucking are. Maybe we can get curious what core belief that's reaffirming and whose voice that actually is. Just because they couldn't show up for you doesn't mean that you're too much. Maybe your coping mechanisms were not working, maybe the way that you handled things was too much, but that doesn't mean you as a person are. We have to defuse, you can't start to identify with all of these core beliefs because then you're just fucking gaslighting yourself into oblivion. After the breakup, you're gonna go through a withdrawal because there's a part of you that believed these things that this person was saying about you or how they treated you, you believed you deserved. The more you treat yourself like shit, the more you're just gonna perpetuate the same cycle. Because baby, if you don't speak to yourself with kindness, how do you expect anybody else to? You don't have to blame everything on them or 100% on you. It's about taking ownership of your part and then holding them accountable for theirs. It couldn't have all been your fault, but it also couldn't all have been theirs. If you really want to move on, you got to accept that it's over, try to fucking learn from it, and work through your nervous systems so you can stop accepting low effort bullshit like this again and start realizing that you deserve so much fucking better.