An expansion on the last piece from today, both will be on Substack later!! #Love #Relationship #structure

I want to explain our prosthetic relationships because a lot of you are not heartbroken. You're experiencing a system failure and you keep calling it love. That's why your breakups feel like amputations because you did not lose a partner. You lost infrastructure. Those are not the same thing because a healthy relationship supports your life. A prosthetic relationship holds up parts of a life that were never fully built and that's different. And most people don't realize this into the relationship ends because while it's happening it feels incredible. Of course it does. Imagine being exhausted your entire life and then suddenly someone carries the weight that you've been dragging along, right? Of course you think that's my person, but slow down what exactly were they carrying. Your emotional regulation, your confidence, your routine, your sense of attractiveness, your ability to feel calm, your social life, your future, your motivation and loneliness, your identity, your relationship with your own family pain because if someone becomes responsible for functions your life was supposed to develop across multiple systems that is not intimacy. It is structural outsourcing. I'm going to tell you it again. If someone becomes responsible for functions of your life that was supposed to develop across multiple systems it is not intimacy, it is structural outsourcing and people normalize it constantly. I'm going to give you some examples. I've never felt safer. Were you safe or were you relieved that someone temporarily took over a nervous system that you were secretly drowning inside? Those are not the same thing. Let's do it again. I've never been this obsessed. Were you deeply compatible or did someone become the first interruption in the years of eternal instability? Those are not the same thing. I can't live without them. It's not romantic. It is a flashing red warning light and the reason why I keep happening is because people, because people were taught how to function before they were taught how to exist. I'm going to go through every bad lesson you ever got in here right here. I'm going to put you on. How to perform before you learn how to be, how to be attractive before you learn how to be known, how to be productive before you learn how to rest, how to survive your household before you learn how to build internal peace, and how to be chosen before you learn how to choose, and how to become useful before you ever became whole. So now you in a relationship is missing entire developmental foundations, right, right? And then you call whoever stabilizes those missing functions the love of your life. I know, I know what sounds fucked up, but I want you to understand how common it is. This is why people stay in relationships with their deeply unseen, because the relationship may be emotionally terrible, but it stabilizes rent. Sure does. Or loneliness. Or sex. Or identity. Or status. Or distraction. Or predictability. Or fear of abandoning. People will rather be poorly loved and structurally unsupported. I want you to understand now. I want you to burn that into your skull. People will rather be poorly loved than structurally unsupported. That explains millions of relationships. And when these relationships end, when these relationships end, right, I want you to get it. People misread what they're feeling all the time. They think I miss them. Sometimes you do. Sometimes you do, but a lot of what you miss is who you got to be while they were carrying what you could. I'm just trying to tell you to shit. And then comes the fan and pain. Your nervous system keeps reaching for a person that used to function like emotional infrastructure, your phone, your routines, your body, your weekends and future plans. Everything keeps searching, everything keeps searching for that missing support beam. And then your brain translates that withdrawal like all that must have been true love. No, no. Sometimes your strongest withdrawal systems came from your least sustainable relationship. It can literally happen. This is why people keep recreating the same relationship with different faces because they're not dating different people. They're searching for whoever can best carry the internal functions they never got to develop. And this is why the same breakups keep happening in different outfits, different names, same architecture, real love. And I want you to get it, right? Right, right. It's some real shit right here. I'm gonna go to the other side. I don't even want to get too caught up on here. Real love though. Real love feel it looks and feels radically different. Real love is not save me from my unfinished life. It's not that. Real love is I can stand on my own legs and I want to see what we can build together. Completely different relationship. One is survival. One is creation. Right, right, right. See, see the difference right there. And a lot of people I've never experienced that second one because they spent their entire life trying to survive the first problem nobody talks about. What happens when a society mass produces functional adults that never fully, but never fully form human beings. That's the real conversation you all don't want. That's what y'all really don't want to hear. What happens when a society mass produces functional adults who never became fully formed human beings. That's what we're at right now. So I just want to take spend on that. Get you some thoughts because a lot of people are in prostatic relationships and they see prostatic relationships and they don't know what they're looking at. It is literally