RED FLAGS to run from before you get married #relationshipadvice #marriagetips #prewedding #relationshipgoals #marriageprep

Promise me you're not going to marry the person that does one of these three things or all of them. You don't want to get married and still hope that things are going to get better. The first thing, I need you to be with somebody who actually understands how to say I'm sorry. Somebody that just constantly makes it your problem or deflects or says, "You know, I never do anything right that shit doesn't just go away." And you deserve someone who will say, "I'm so sorry if that's what I made you feel or I'm my sincerest apologies if my actions caused you to feel that way." That was never my intention, but I can totally understand how that hurt you. What is it that you need for me? Start fucking dating adults. The second thing, do not marry somebody until you understand how they save money, how they spend money, and how they make money. I get it. Finances are the unsexy part of a conversation, but it's so important to understand does this person have debt? How where do they want to live? How do they want to live? What matters to them? Is there priority in to buying a nice home or is it going on expensive trips? What is it that this person spends money on? How do they make their fucking money and how much do they have actually saved? It's all funny games until you sign on the dotted line and you realize this person's 75 to $100,000 in debt, gambles every single fucking night and you don't know what you're going to do with that. And baby, the last thing, do not marry somebody where you do not have conflict, regulation, and repair. If you keep fighting over the same shit, they keep making you feel really small, they remind you of your fucking parents. Please stop hoping that this just gets better. Unless they're willing to go to therapy for themselves and the both of you, you're wasting your fucking time.