practice these yourself in Parla App. link in bio! conor neill could convince me to do anything with the way he speaks tbh 😂 that's the power of good communication #conorneill #persuasion #communicationtips #publicspeaking #influence

You arrive home, you're a few minutes late, your partner says you're always late. There's a dirty plate left on the table, you never wash the dishes. What do you say in this moment? Now most of you and me included went through 14 years of school where we were taught one way to respond to questions. Teacher asks questions, how do you spell cat? Student, C-A-T. Teacher, what is the biological process called osmosis? Student puts hand up, explains in detail the process through which cell membranes allow water to go from one side to the other. So for 14 years you've been taught that you should give an answer to a question. If you went to university probably another three or four years where you gave answers to questions. But in real life, in persuasion, in getting to what the other person is really about, what their needs really are, the worst thing you can do is give an answer to a question. If someone says your product is too expensive and you say no it's not, it's only a thousand. You've lost every chance to understand what else is behind their reasoning. If you get home and your partner says you're always late and you go, no no no, Tuesday I definitely was here on time. You're going to have a crap weekend. And you've had 14, if not 18 years of training that you answer questions and it's going to cause fights in your own life, it's going to cause problems at work, it means you're not selling anything. Because when someone says your product is too expensive, that's not what their real issue is. When someone says I'll have to speak to my boss, that's not what their real issue is. And if we had lots of time here I would create a little role playing thing because what happens here is in our model of the human brain, got the stem, the emotion, I'm here. When your partner says you're always late, emotion goes up and what happens is this bit disconnects. So the way to make someone stupider is insult them, object to them, tell them they're wrong or ask them a question. Because there's an emotional reaction and the higher emotion goes, the lower thinking goes. So if you don't practice this response, you're not going to be able to do it in the moment. If you don't practice repeatedly how you'll respond to you're always late, you never wash the dishes, you never do your part of the share. Your product is too expensive, your competitor is better, you failed us three years ago, I don't trust your company. If you don't practice the habit of not giving an answer, you're not going to be able to do it in the heat of the moment. So what I would say is when you're asked a question or when you're given an objection, what I want you to do is say I understand and repeat in your words what they're saying. Your product is too expensive. I understand that money is an important factor for you. What other criteria will be used in taking this decision? So, you understand and you give an open question back.