People don't get attached because they are “too needy” or want “too much” They get attached because intimacy is designed to create attachment but a lot of people aren’t self aware enough to understand the environment they create. #dating #datingadvice #datingadviceforwomen #datingadviceformen #intimacy

I'm not going to hold your hand when I say this because I quite literally hope that it hits some of you across the face because you're a grown-ass adult But intimacy creates attachment Attachment creates relationships. I know what a crazy concept especially for some of you men out there Stop asking people to experience relationship level love and expect them to have casual level feelings I think that we have started treating attachment like it's some kind of character flaw Like if someone catches feelings after speaking to someone every day Being intimate with them sleeping with them sharing their deepest darkest fears being emotionally Vulnerable that there is something wrong with them But at this right-passage what did you expect to happen human beings are wired for connection? It is not a bug in the system. It is the whole fucking system so many people do not want a relationship with you They do however want the parts of a relationship that they benefit from the most They want the good morning text the emotional support the phone calls when they've had a bad day the Consistency the loyalty the access to you We want someone to listen to them like a partner to comfort them like a partner to prioritize them like a partner But the second you bring up a title the commitment or the Accountability responsibility that comes along with it. It's all a sudden. I'm not ready for a relationship And this is where a lot of you become confused because they're not rejecting intimacy They're rejecting accountability You want relationship level love without being able to provide relationship level security Eventually you will realize that you're carrying the emotional weight of a relationship without one that actually exists At least not officially the lesson here is not that you need to be less attached The lesson is that you need to pay attention when someone's actions are creating a relationship that their words Refuse to acknowledge some people don't actually want to be your partner They just don't want to lose access to the benefits of having one most of us aren't struggling because we caught feelings We're struggling because someone invited us into a level of closeness that is usually reserved for relationships Someone is benefiting from your emotional Investment all while refusing to define where you stand. It is most certainly okay to decide that that is not enough for you Relationships require accountability. They also require responsibility for someone else's feelings and motion So stop asking yourself why am I too needy? Why do I feel things so deeply why am I too emotional and start asking yourself why you continually engage with someone who refuses to give you clarity