So it turns out the far right race riots may be the brainchild of our favourite people the tech billionaires… who knew they were so willing to exploit two tragedies to promote their own ends? What a world! #donaldtrump #riots #protest #ukpolitics #comedy

So you don't know why the UK seems to have spent the last two weeks enjoying a twin pack of race riots, but you don't want to look like a thickie, thickie dumb dumb in front of all your mates. Here's a quick rundown to help you understand why these gentle giants have taken a break from beating up their girlfriends to help keep Britain's streets safe, by burning those streets to the fucking ground. Now the race riots in question were caused by the murder of 18-year-old Henry Novakins Avhampton in 2025 by Stabby Psycho Vikram Digwa, and the attempted murder of a man called Stephen Oglevy and Belfast last Monday by Stabby Psycho Haddie Eloddin. Now no points for guessing that the two Stabby Psycho's in question are not white. Henson's Avhampton, a far-right group called the Southampton Patriots, got the wrong address for Vikram Digwa's family home and instead terrorised a complete random as semi-detached for two and a half hours. Lovely red stripes, sir. I like my patriotism served with a blood alcohol level of how the fuck is he still standing up as well. And in Belfast, gangs of men in Balaklava's committed a pogrom by setting fire to the homes of immigrants and ethnic minorities. Now I don't want to sound like a tinfoil hat, but I've identified some dots that I've got to join together with String until they create dreamy portraits of these four cunts because these race riots are part of a strategy. Stay with me. During the race riots in Southampton, the vice president of the United States J.D. Pistis Pants took a break from looking like an AI-generated image of what a butterbeen would look like if it was a human being to post on X that he thought Henry Novak was killed because of an invasion of migrants into the UK. Similarly, half-man half-K-hole Elon Musk posted on X that the Belfast riots were a result of uncontrolled immigration, even though according to the 2021 census Northern Ireland was 97% white. Now you might remember that in December last year, the Trump administration published a new National Security Strategy. Stay with me. Contained within this new National Security Strategy was a promise to cultivate resistance in Europe to ensure that America remains the greatest and most successful nation in human history. The strategy then went on to say that the most effective way of doing this was to support Europe's far right movements. Enter far right lunatic Tommy Robinson. Total fucking c*****, who was unbanned from X by Elon Musk in 2024 and his bankrolled by two US tech billionaires who were close to Donald Trump. Robert Schillman, who's a former board member of the Friends of the Israeli Defense Forces who bought Tommy Robinson his new teeth. And Robert Mercer, who bankrolled Brexit and set up Breitbart News, the alt-right news website that's widely seen as having created the MAGA cult. Meanwhile, Tweedy GoNad Nigel Farage said that the British people should respond to Henry Novak's murder, with cold rage. Now all of this comes at a great time for Nigel who's currently being investigated for accepting £5 million from his own tech billionaire, a man called Christopher Harbourn. Nigel's also shitting his pants because his party reform UK is currently losing votes to restore UK a party that's even more right-wing and led by a man called Rupert Low. Who Elon Musk said would make a better Prime Minister than Nigel Farage. So what the fuck's going on here then? Answer, a group of men who were funded by tech billionaires have exploited two tragedies to openly call for race war on the streets of Great Britain, which apparently is all part of a US strategy for world domination. Or maybe I'm reading too much into it, I don't know.