Team Voice-note Guy — direct communication is sexy. Setting expectations versus relying on coercion is beautiful. Learn how to communicate directly with people; it will save you a lot of heartbreak and time.

A video went viral last week of a girl that got a voice note from a guy that she was dating, and he was basically saying, "Hey, if we're going to continue hanging out, I just want you to know that I am seeking a sexual connection, and if you don't want to explore a sexual connection, then we should probably just end this now because a sexual connection is a priority to me." And this was presented as a negative thing, and the comments were littered with people saying, "Men aren't lonely enough," etc., etc. And I was sitting there thinking, "This is what consent looks like, y'all." Like, we discuss the concept of consent so much, but I don't think people actually understand what it looks like, and that voice note is what consent looks like. It is blunt, it is raw, it is obvious. And that guy gave the girl a chance to be like, "Oh, okay, this is moving too quickly for me, and that's not how I want to conduct us dating right now." It should be that fucking easy. Consent, especially sexual consent, should be blunt. This is a great opportunity for y'all to increase your sexual education a little bit. I am 37 years old, I have done a lot of dating, and a lot of sleeping around, and I have faced a lot of sexual abuse and trauma because these conversations were not held beforehand. I think it's admirable. I think it's admirable. And I think that if you are unwilling to have upfront and blunt conversations about your sexual health and your sexual expectations, with someone that you are likely eventually going to have sex with, then you probably shouldn't be dating anyone at all. Y'all need to learn how to communicate, and you need to understand that the more directly and bluntly you communicate with other people, the better your fucking relationships will be. We are so unfortunately deeply conditioned by like Disney Romance rape culture that we have come to believe that like romance is supposed to be like all of the silence and feelings that people are supposed to like be able to perceive. No, that's why rape culture exists because people don't talk about shit.