Sometimes emotionally available people become safe places for people who never planned on becoming safe for them. They benefit from your patience, your communication, your softness, and your willingness to keep trying, while you slowly become exhausted from carrying the emotional weight for both of you. I don’t mind teaching someone how to love me. But I should not have to teach them how to be a partner. Have you ever felt like you were building the relationship while the other person was just living in it? #lgbt #lesbian #fyp #wlw #relationships

Hey mom, let's have another uncomfortable conversation, right? I'm tired of being a teacher in relationships where I'm supposed to be a partner. And I'm not talking about the normal process of learning somebody, right? Of course, you have to learn me. You have to learn what makes me feel loved, what makes me feel secure, what causes me to come full back and what I need when life gets heavy. But I should not have to keep teaching you how to consider me. I should not have to keep explaining why consistency matters, why your words need to match your actions or why an apology means nothing when you keep doing the same shit. I'm tired of having to give somebody step-by-step instructions on how not to hurt me just for them to add confused when I'd stop showing up the same. Because after a while, it no longer feels like we're learning each other. It feels like I'm doing all the emotional work while you benefit from the shit. You benefit from the fact that I communicate. You benefit from the fact that I try to understand your side. You benefit from my patience, my softness, my ability to sit through these uncomfortable conversations and honestly, my willingness to keep fucking trying with you. But what do I get? Because sometimes being emotionally available turns into a safe place for people who never planned on becoming safe for you. They feel comfortable bringing you their wounds, their hurt, their confusion, their fears and everything that they are still trying to figure out. But when it's time to hold space for you, all of a sudden your needs feel like too much and that changes something in the person, right? It becomes hard to stay soft with somebody who constantly have to correct. It becomes hard to feel connected when every problem turns into another lesson. You have to teach. It becomes hard to feel loved when you are always the one creating the safety, starting the conversation, naming the issue and trying to repair it with the fucking breaking. So at some point, right? It is not that you do not understand. It is that your understanding me requires a level of effort. You do not consistently want to give me. So I do not want to spend an entire relationship preparing somebody to become a better partner for the next person. I'm sorry, I deserve to experience the growth to I deserve a relationship where I am not constantly choosing between loving you and abandoning myself. So yeah, learn me, learn how I receive love, learn what makes me feel safe, learn the parts of me that are mine to explain and do not use my emotional availability as permission to stay emotionally unavailable. I am supposed to be your partner. Not the person teaching you how to become one.