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I was the definition of a wife that held a man down and went through ups and downs. I was, I was, his old lady. I was the one where guys were like, oh, that's a good lady right there. You better, you better stick with her, but that was me and I'm not getting divorced. Um, I poured it to my husband, mentally, physically, spiritually. Um, my husband came home to a clean house every single day with three small kids. That's hard. Did it anyway. My husband, he would have a hot plate waiting and ready for him when he got off of work. I would make sure to cook things that I knew he would eat because he was a picky eater and even though it was necessarily things that I didn't like to eat, I didn't matter because I just wanted to make him happy. I wouldn't ask him for anything. If I wanted to buy something, I'd buy it for myself. Um, I'd still also help financially provide for my family. I hate the turn, letting yourself go, but I took pride in not letting myself go. I still tried to be sexy for my husband. Be fun. Anytime he wanted any. I'd give it to him. I had, you know, the lingerie, all the things I'd put it down. Um, and yeah, I, I prayed over my husband. I had, I literally have a prayer journal and I would pray over my husband. I pray that he healed from things he didn't speak on. I prayed for his career. I prayed for his mental health. I prayed for other things he was struggling with that affected our marriage that I don't even want to get into. And I felt like I was pouring and pouring and pouring everything into my husband because I just love this man so deeply and I took my vow so seriously. I was like, I'm going to spend the rest of my life with this man. This is my husband. I want to be a good woman. I want to be a good wife. I want to hold him down. And I loved him so much. And there's many times to where I was like, I don't even know if this man likes me because he acts like he does it. He acts like he hates my guts. And that was really hard. Um, anything that I wanted to do, he didn't want to do. He, I just felt like he didn't care about making me happy. Anything I would bring up that would, that would bother me. He would be like, hey, can you not do this XYZ? Nothing changed. Nothing changed. Or I was blamed for everything as well. If I was not being treated with respect, I would get blamed for that. Well, you know, I don't treat anybody else this way. I don't talk to my friends this way. I don't talk to my boss this way. So it must be you. That was hard. I just felt like I literally, I was bending over backwards to make this man happy because I loved him so deeply, but I wasn't getting anything in return. If I was getting anything, it was like disrespect. And that was really hard, because I was doing everything right like I was so good. And I'm getting divorced, um, you know, and I'm still mourning my marriage and I still love him. I think that's the hardest part, it's the hardest part, it's very difficult. And I'm, you know, I'm being blamed for this divorce. That also hurts my feelings because I'm like, I was so good to you. I was the perfect wife. I don't know what more I could have done. To be honest, I really don't know. I think if anything like my friends and family told me like, you're doing too much. Have you ever seen desperate housewives? I was breathed. I'm not joking. That was me. That was me. Um, but yeah, it's hard and I'm trying to get through it. And this is not me talking shit because I get accused of talking shit on here all the time. I'm not talking shit. I'm just, I'm just going through it, this is really hard for me. Yeah, it's just like really hard for me because I just wanted to be loved and respect right. And, you know, I wanted to have somebody do me right and that's just not what happened. So anyway.