This convo makes me think of Lipglossss! (iykyk)“Being ugly will set you free” by Paris Mwenda. Go read this! #BookTok #substack #yvannareads

There is nothing that will make you truly happy that requires you to become beautiful first. That is a quote from a substag essay that I read last night that made me look inward in a very uncomfortable but necessary way. This essay written by Paris Mwenda is titled "Being Ugly Will Set You Free" and it's all about the exhaustion that comes with the pursuit of beauty and chasing this beauty ideal. And she's proposing that becoming ugly is no longer being engaged in that pursuit. When I ask myself what I really want in life, desires revolve around career, love, accomplishment, etc, I realize that I have an internalized belief that my success in these areas is partially dependent on how beautiful I am. In a way that's true but I think on social media in the last few years there has definitely been more discourse around concepts like pretty privilege and skinny privilege and this idea that if you're beautiful you can get anything you want in life. And I feel like it has infiltrated my brain because I wasn't always so focused on my physical appearance. Another interesting thing that this essay made me realize is that in modern Gen Z culture it has become acceptable to be passionate about beauty, simply beauty, all things beauty, hair, makeup, skincare, etc. But not in the way that like a makeup artist or a hairstylist would be. It's like a personal passion for beauty and self-development and glowing up. I've considered myself one of those people for years now and I don't think there's anything wrong with it. But after reading this I'm compelled to really think deeply about whether I would still be passionate about beauty if I knew that there was nothing to gain by obtaining it. If there was nothing at the end of that road. And I think being a model has also forced me into some intense introspection about what I truly care about and whether beauty has to play a role in it. If it does, will I really be happy if I only earned something because of my appearance? She ends the essay by saying living in the ugly is horrifying but is the piece that bodily obsession could never afford you. I absolutely love this essay because it felt like an examination of the female thought process. And it touched on so many things that have been brewing like under the surface of my own mind for a while now. But we're hard to articulate maybe because of the cognitive dissonance that I have because of what I've chosen to do in my life. As well as the paradoxes that arrive whenever I do try to articulate these things. And by that I mean two things can be true at once. It may be true that being ugly will set you free, but it is also unequivocally true that beauty can open doors. So I highly suggest that you guys go read this Paris if you see this amazing work.