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To the people who are in tough positions right now who are waiting on things to get better I've actually gone ahead and clock out And and and I'm a I'm a draw a line of distinction Because if you wait on things to get better then now you've started to measure your marriage your long-term relationship off the circumstances And so you've lost sight of the core of your relationship with the two people in it not the circumstances surrounding them Where you rest your desire for change is the abilities of the person standing across from you and you So in situations like this one even when it's the partner who may be causing the contention when that partner says there's something wrong with us We need to get to a better place that should always be your priority. Where are we? Because we are the ones in the relationship the circumstances are not the relationship the circumstances are produced by the quality of the relationship So if we're no longer in a quality place then nothing we produce will be quality if it is quality It'll be short-term quality y'all have a family and kids and if you if if you want to continue to remain in that unit and even if you Not in that unit guess who got to be good? You and him Y'all y'all at at at the very least a co-parent if it does go left like he's saying, right? If y'all can't fix the relationship in the state that it's in now y'all got to figure out how to do something healthy So so this this thing where you focusing on the things that he's not doing who is he? I actually agree with ACE whole heartedly who is that man? Does he have the ability at this point to evolve into whatever y'all need to get through the next chapter and do you? Because if we're going to talk about tradition right and I'm not saying that y'all subscribe to that but most people seem to most people seem to desire it Then you as the the ultimate help have the question. Can I even assist this man going anywhere? Is he going anywhere? Right can I take him to wherever it is that his purpose as he's supposed to go because if I can't then maybe I'm in his way too Right pack up pack up that pack up your belongings and go if that's the case But don't don't wait on circumstances to change. It's about you and him