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You know that what he was doing would hurt you, okay, that his actions affect you and your feelings, okay, and he chose to do it any way. He still chose to do the thing knowing that it would hurt you. Okay, do hear me. He is a grown man, and he is in charge of his actions. Not everyone that's hurt you cares forgiveness lets you off the hook. Why would you carry that with you? The person doesn't care. Why are you tainting and infecting all the amazing moments that could happen in your life and with someone that doesn't care how they hurt you. So how do you figure out how to let that go? A lot of times when we're hurting so badly, we're just looking for the person who caused it to validate it, as if that's going to make it feel better, it's not. Even if he picked up the phone and called you right now, what would you say? You hurt me? Visualize how that conversation would go. You would talk in circles, you would make excuses for why he did it, and that wouldn't even make you feel better. Because the damage is done.