Chickens. 🎥: @Pierre Novellie You can watch the full special 'Quiet Ones' from 800 Pound Gorilla! Link in bio. #standup #comedy #standupcomedy #jokes #discovery #fyp #pierrenovellie #farming #chicken #meat #ag #agriculture #meat

If you were a farmer and you'd never heard of a chicken and I explained one to you, you'd think I was fucking lying. It's that good. You'd be like, "This guy cannot be a real animal." Like, if you'd never heard of one and let's say, like, I got sent around by the department for agriculture and I was like, "You should really consider raising chickens." You go, "What's a chicken?" I go, "Well, it's a football made of meat. It's a meat football and it lives in the garden." It'd be like, "Right, so meat football lives in the garden." Yeah! Sorry, there's quite a big thing that I forgot to mention. Once a day, the meat football will shit out bonus food. Every day for free. And the bonus food it shits out is one of the best foods in the world. On its own, its delicious salt and pepper, mix it with flour, have a birthday cake. It's high in protein, it's high in good cholesterol, time vitamin B12. It's practically a superfood. And the farmer would be like, "What? It comes out and I just scrape it off the farm yard floor." No, it comes in a packet. Just arrives in a packet. He'd be like, "There's no fucking way." You'd be looking for the cash. That's what I would be doing if I was that farmer. It's always a cash. There's no such thing as a free lunch. What's the catch here? This thing's laying eggs. What is it? Like a lizard, a bird. No, it's a bird. Well, there you go. It's just going to fly away. No, I don't think that'll be a problem. What does it just not have wings? No, it has wings, but they're not so much an escape mechanism as a starter. That's how fuck this animal is. We've bred it for food to the point where it's main anti-predation device is just another reason to eat it. It's incredible. If you used to be like, "It's got to be a catch." With cows and pigs, it's the amount you have to feed them to get them up to weight. That's the real expense with cows and pigs. So the farmer would be like, "Well, what are these things eat? These miracle animals, chickens. What are these things eat?" The floor? They seem to eat the floor. Got any floor on your farm?