TikTok Video

So, this one's for my Back to Be Bunch, the group of you who are going to support me and I'm going to support you and we're going to just all try to get back to a better self. And for me, today my struggle is the stupid elliptical. Let's talk about procrastination. Oh, I hate it. I hate it. I hate exercising. I really do. It's just so difficult to get myself motivated enough to just get on to the stupid machine. And I've set myself some realistic goals, but some pretty strict ones. I only want to do the amount of songs that is required to get to the one mile. I won't quit before one mile, even though after the first quarter lap, I'm like, "Oh, my legs hurt, my back hurts, my breathing's tough," but then I know that once I get into a rhythm, once I get past that first lap, that point to five, I'm fine. I'm totally fine. And I get to that third lap and I'm like, "Oh, my God, I have one more to go," but then I'm like, "Just shut up and do it," and I just shut up and do it. And it's hard. It's really, really hard to keep that motivation. So then I've turned it into, "Okay, I have to do at least one mile." Know if ends or buts. And I have to do at least four songs, okay, because that should be four laps, right? One lap per song. But then sometimes the laps are less, and then it's like, "I got to do a fifth song." And do I quit because it did four songs? Or no, no, no, you have to do at least four laps, at least one mile. Don't quit until you get done with the one mile. And then that fifth song comes on, and it's freaking yes. And it's round about, and the song lasts forever. And so then I ended up doing 1.5 miles because that's my other rule is that I can't quit until the song is done. So I did one and a half miles the other day, but now every time I get on to the elliptical, I feel guilty stopping at one mile because I know I'm capable of one and a half miles now. And that's making me not want to get on to the elliptical at all. So, but I will say this, the new pair jeans that I bought a couple weeks ago when I was shopping with my two best friends. We went through shopping and they're loose, they're like kind of falling down. The waistband is loose enough that it's like folding over. So there's that, it's getting somewhere. Oh, and my motivations while I'm doing this stupid elliptical machine, starting to really resent Ellie. My motivations are this, like I'll get to that point where I'm like, I want a quid, I want a quid and I'll open my eyes and I look at that, I see there's a tiara on the on the furnace event directly across from me and I was like, no, I'm going to do that stupid Walt Disney world race and then and then the other thing. So then when that gets old, because that gets old really fast, I'll be like, no, I just ordered three bikinis. Yes, you heard me right. I'm 54 years old, ordered bikinis and I'm not stupid. I have had four kids and my stomach does not look like I'm a teenager, but if I can get the confidence enough to wear them in public, maybe put some like self tanning stuff on my stomach to make it look like it's not so stretch marquee, that'd be cool, right? That'd be cool. I want to wear these bikinis. I'm going to rock them, even if it's embarrassing to my husband. He wouldn't care. He would just think it's sexy. He's weird like that. But let's see, let's see where it goes. But anyways, I'm rambling. I'm just saying that I'm stalling because I don't want to get on the elliptical. I need to set another, I need to set another goal. I'm definitely going to have to get on it at 10, 2, and 430, three times, five times a week. I can't. I've got to stop telling myself three times a week because I want to do it five times a week. If I say three times a week, then I'll make it only three times a week and I really want to do it five times a week. I'm stalling again. It's awful. See, this is where I'm at. This is where I'm at. How are you doing?