There is a quiet, exhausting pressure placed on men when it comes to their worth and relationships. We need to start rethinking conditional affection and the silent weight so many of them carry every day.
@humankindpodTranscript
- When a man realizes that he is only loved on the condition that he provides something, something inside him just breaks. Think about it. We women are often loved inherently. We are loved for simply existing. But men, men are loved for what they can do, what they can fix, what they can pay for, what they can defend. And the terrifying reality they live with every single day is the unspoken threat. That the second they lose their utility, the second they lose their job or their strength, or their ability to solve everyone else's problems, they become invisible, they become disposable. That is a suffocating way to live. Imagine knowing that your worth isn't about your heart or your soul, but your output. So they keep pushing, they bury their exhaustion, not just physical but soul deep exhaustion. They don't talk about the pressure because society has told them complaining makes them less of a man. They suffer an absolute silence because the alternative is admitting defeat. And in their world, defeat equals abandonment. That's why so many of them just check out emotionally or entirely. They look around and realize nobody is checking in on them just to see if they're okay. It's always what can you do for me today? We have to start valuing men for who they are, not just what they build for us.
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He wasn't born this cold; he became this way when he stopped lowering his standards to make you comfortable. The silence you hear isn't anger, it is the sound of a man who is completely done trying to prove his value. He didn't change who he was, he just changed the locks to his life.
Be afraid of the man who suddenly stops asking for your time. He didn't go cold to teach you a lesson. He went cold because he finally learned his.
Be very careful when a man stops fighting his corner. You haven't won the argument just because he has gone silent. You need to understand what happens when he decides the game isn't worth playing.
Pay attention when the man who was always available goes silent. He didn't disappear to make you miss him. He disappeared because he realized being "always there" didn't make him important, it made him invisible.