We can still be friends though

why do most avoidants want to be friends with you after they break up with you and ruin your life and break your heart into a million pieces? If you still want to be friends, if you're open to that, like I would totally get down. And you're over here like crying your eyes out or looking at them like super shocked because you did not see this breakup coming and you're like wait what are you talking about? Friends? But like low-key, you want to stay friends because you want them in your life still. You don't know how to function and be okay without them in your life. So you're like maybe I'll take them up on the offer. But every time you go to text from them every time you talk to them it's like they're constantly breaking you heart. You're heart because you know you're not going to have a chance. You know they're not in your life in the way that you want them to be because you want to be dating them and your friends with them. And they're still taking like five years to respond to your text. So it's like you're still dating them mentally like your your mind doesn't really know the difference of what's going on, right? But your friends. So it's like you'll literally never get what you truly want. Your friends which is a want you want and you're getting really slow responses which is still not what you want. For a moment we attach people. So the main reason why they try to keep the door open after the breakup is because they're trying to have their taken you to. They want to still feel the connection with you because they value that. They like you. That's why they were with you for so long, right? But they don't want the part of the relationship that made them feel uncomfortable. So they're trying to just carve out that part throw it away and see if you're open to the new type of relationship agreement. And that can be friends with benefits for a lot of you guys. That is what's going on. But the part that they carve off is the idea of labels. Okay, the idea of feeling stuck and obligated and feeling responsible for being a certain person in the relationship with you. So maybe your boyfriend girlfriend, maybe your husband and wife, like whatever it is, they feel like when this label is on our relationship, I can't go off and do whatever I want with anyone else. I can't do what I want to do on a Saturday without asking you. I can't be my own person because we're always together. And so to them, breaking free from that gives them this feeling of freedom. I mean, that's what it is. It makes them feel more connected to themselves. But at the same time of carving all that out, they still get to keep this connection. So they still get access to you. They still get to talk to you. They still get to, you know, just hear what's going on with you because they do care about you. They want to know your updates, right? But they don't want to talk to you every single day. They don't want to get reprimanded if they don't respond to your message in the morning, like the good morning text. They also don't want to send a good morning text every single day, probably. And so they kind of get a little bit of both. So if they say like, hey, I'm going to throw this out there. If you want to be friends, this could work for me. Maybe it'll work for you. Okay, That's the first reason why they do that.