i wish i got cheated on instead #breakup #ex #nocontact

I am most texted you today Not because I thought you'd answer but because for a second I forgot that we don't do that anymore I wanted to tell you something small Something stupid Something only you would get And for a moment my brain reached for you like muscle memory Like healing forgot to remind me how much it hurt the last time Like my heart still thinks maybe this time it would be different But I didn't text you because I know how that ends I know that sending one message would only open a door that I've worked so hard to close I wanted to check in but I remembered how much it cost me the last time I tried How I left the conversation feeling empty or than before I started it And honestly, I don't want to go back to shrinking just to be heard To hoping for crumbs and calling it connection So I sat with the urge I let it burn Let it pass Because healing I've learned isn't always about feeling better Sometimes it's about choosing not to go back to it broke you And I miss you I do But I miss me more the version of me. I'm finally starting to recognize again And that version she doesn't chase people who let her go