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Replying to @thats_close_enough Americans will spend $200 on a bulletproof backpack for their 8-year-old and call that normal. Not alarming. Not dystopian. Just... normal. "Better safe than sorry." "Every little bit helps." "At least I'm doing something." You know what else you could do? Move to a country where bulletproof backpacks don't exist because they're not needed. My kids go to school in Portugal with regular backpacks. Because the threat they're designed to protect against doesn't exist here. Not because Portugal has better security. Because Portugal doesn't have a mass shooting problem. The fact that an entire industry exists to profit off your fear should tell you everything about how broken the system is. But instead of leaving the system, you're buying products to survive within it. That's not protection. That's acceptance. Link in bio when you're ready to stop accepting this as normal. 🆘🇺🇸

@nomadveronica
304 views34 likes2:54ENMay 22, 2026
474 words2536 characters17 sentencesReadability: High School

Transcript

When we lived in the United States, I remember when my kids school announced all of the precautions that they were going to have in the classrooms in the event of a shooter. They talked about how they had these disposable bathroom things in a bucket that they were going to keep in a closet. And they required us to bring in some comfort supplies that they were going to keep in bins in the classroom in the event of a shooter. And they also required us to write them a letter that was like a comforting letter in the event that they had to stay trapped in their classroom when one of these emergencies was happening. Now there's been an entire industry created around school shootings. I mean, not just bulletproof glass, but they've got rooms, entire safe rooms that you can pull out of the corner. They've got all sorts of locking mechanisms and ways to wedge the door shut. They've got products for our children, including bulletproof sweatshirts, bulletproof backpack shields that they can keep in their backpack to protect them from an active shooter in their school. I read this post one time on social media of a mother who was so proud of her son and how he responded to the active shooter drill at his school, where she was bragging about how with the fake gunmen, the teacher acting as a gunman came to his classroom, her son jumped on the guy and started wailing on him. And she just thought that was hilarious. She was giving him accolades for how brave he was. And the comments were all just so positive. They were all talking about how proud they were of this little boy for his actions. And as I read that, I was just sad and felt terrible that the coping mechanism of a parent is that they have to think about how wonderful it is that their child would go attack a shooter. But we shouldn't have to think about how our child would respond in those situations to begin with, letting our kids go through this trauma and finding all these ways to justify that trauma by creating an entire industry of products that we are saying is going to make it better instead of just fixing the problem. Anyways, I don't have to think about this so much anymore because I moved my kids out of the United States five years ago, but it is still just as devastating to watch these school shootings happening on the news from afar because they happen so often. But if you're ready to leave the United States and get your kids to a school where that will not happen, you can work with me one on one and there's links in my bio to do that.

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Replying to @smgroff When someone you love tells you they're in pain and identifies specific change that would alleviate that pain, and your response is "but I don't want to change," you're choosing your comfort over their wellbeing. That's not neutral position. That's active choice to prioritize your preference for staying same over their need to stop suffering. Family dynamics often normalize one person carrying disproportionate burden of everyone else's resistance to change. Usually that person is a woman. Usually she's told her pain is: dramatic, exaggerated, something she needs to work on internally, not serious enough to warrant disruption to everyone else's comfort. So she stays. And suffers. And tries to make it work. And feels guilty for even wanting something different. And her mental health deteriorates while everyone around her maintains their comfort by insisting change isn't necessary. This is how families trap people. Not through overt cruelty. Through collective insistence that discomfort of change is worse than one person's ongoing suffering. Through framing her pain as her problem to solve internally rather than family problem requiring collective action. But pain doesn't exist in vacuum. When one family member is drowning, "I don't want to get in the water" isn't loving response. It's abandonment disguised as preference. The fear of moving abroad - fear of unknown, fear of discomfort, fear of change - is valid fear. But it's temporary fear about hypothetical future difficulty. Her pain is current, ongoing, and deteriorating her mental health right now. Choosing temporary fear of change over permanent alleviation of her suffering is choosing wrong thing. And pretending those are equivalent concerns - his fear vs her mental health crisis - is false equivalence that prioritizes his comfort over her wellbeing. If roles were reversed, if he were telling her his mental health was suffering and he'd identified change that would help, and her response was "but I'm scared to change," everyone would see that as unacceptable. They'd tell her to get over her fear and support her partner. But when woman is suffering and family's response is "we're not doing that," it gets framed as reasonable disagreement instead of what it is: choosing collective comfort over her health. The test of whether you love someone isn't whether you're willing to maintain comfortable status quo with them. It's whether you're willing to be uncomfortable to alleviate their suffering. If answer is no - if your fear of change outweighs your concern for their mental health deterioration - you're not operating from love. You're operating from self-interest and calling it family unity. She doesn't need to keep sacrificing herself for people who won't sacrifice their comfort for her wellbeing. She doesn't need to stay stuck because other people are afraid. She doesn't need permission to prioritize her mental health over their preference for sameness. Link in bio for people whose mental health is being sacrificed to maintain other people's comfort. Whose comfort are you prioritizing over your own wellbeing? 🆘🇺🇸

Replying to @smgroff When someone you love tells you they're in pain and identifies specific change that would alleviate that pain, and your response is "but I don't want to change," you're choosing your comfort over their wellbeing. That's not neutral position. That's active choice to prioritize your preference for staying same over their need to stop suffering. Family dynamics often normalize one person carrying disproportionate burden of everyone else's resistance to change. Usually that person is a woman. Usually she's told her pain is: dramatic, exaggerated, something she needs to work on internally, not serious enough to warrant disruption to everyone else's comfort. So she stays. And suffers. And tries to make it work. And feels guilty for even wanting something different. And her mental health deteriorates while everyone around her maintains their comfort by insisting change isn't necessary. This is how families trap people. Not through overt cruelty. Through collective insistence that discomfort of change is worse than one person's ongoing suffering. Through framing her pain as her problem to solve internally rather than family problem requiring collective action. But pain doesn't exist in vacuum. When one family member is drowning, "I don't want to get in the water" isn't loving response. It's abandonment disguised as preference. The fear of moving abroad - fear of unknown, fear of discomfort, fear of change - is valid fear. But it's temporary fear about hypothetical future difficulty. Her pain is current, ongoing, and deteriorating her mental health right now. Choosing temporary fear of change over permanent alleviation of her suffering is choosing wrong thing. And pretending those are equivalent concerns - his fear vs her mental health crisis - is false equivalence that prioritizes his comfort over her wellbeing. If roles were reversed, if he were telling her his mental health was suffering and he'd identified change that would help, and her response was "but I'm scared to change," everyone would see that as unacceptable. They'd tell her to get over her fear and support her partner. But when woman is suffering and family's response is "we're not doing that," it gets framed as reasonable disagreement instead of what it is: choosing collective comfort over her health. The test of whether you love someone isn't whether you're willing to maintain comfortable status quo with them. It's whether you're willing to be uncomfortable to alleviate their suffering. If answer is no - if your fear of change outweighs your concern for their mental health deterioration - you're not operating from love. You're operating from self-interest and calling it family unity. She doesn't need to keep sacrificing herself for people who won't sacrifice their comfort for her wellbeing. She doesn't need to stay stuck because other people are afraid. She doesn't need permission to prioritize her mental health over their preference for sameness. Link in bio for people whose mental health is being sacrificed to maintain other people's comfort. Whose comfort are you prioritizing over your own wellbeing? 🆘🇺🇸

3092:59
You’ve asked the question. You’ve googled it. You’ve watched videos about it. You’ve saved posts about it. You know the answer. You just don’t like the answer because the answer requires doing something uncomfortable. There is no secret pathway. There is no hack. There is no “just apply to this one company and they’ll sponsor you.” There is no waiting until conditions are perfect. There is one path that works for regular people without corporate sponsorship or family wealth: generate income that qualifies you, apply for visa, relocate. That’s it. That’s the whole thing. Everything else is details. The reason you keep asking “how do I move abroad” when you already know how is because you’re hoping someone will tell you different answer. Answer that doesn’t require you to do hard thing you’ve been avoiding. You want someone to say: just save this amount, or just apply to these jobs, or just wait until this timing, or just move to this one country that’s super easy. Something that fits into comfort zone you’re currently in. But comfortable path doesn’t exist. If it did, everyone would take it. The reason most people don’t move abroad isn’t because they can’t figure out how. It’s because knowing how and doing how are completely different things. You can know exactly what’s required and still not do it. Because doing it means: pitching services to strangers, building income stream from scratch, risking failure, being uncomfortable for extended period, taking action before feeling ready. All the information in world doesn’t eliminate discomfort of doing something you’ve never done before. And you’ve been conditioned to avoid discomfort, so you keep researching instead of executing. Research feels productive. Feels like progress. Feels like you’re working on it. But if research never converts to action, it’s just sophisticated way of staying stuck while pretending you’re moving forward. Watch video for the answer you already know but keep hoping will change. Link in bio for people ready to do the uncomfortable thing instead of researching it forever. How long have you known what you need to do without doing it? 🆘🇺🇸

You’ve asked the question. You’ve googled it. You’ve watched videos about it. You’ve saved posts about it. You know the answer. You just don’t like the answer because the answer requires doing something uncomfortable. There is no secret pathway. There is no hack. There is no “just apply to this one company and they’ll sponsor you.” There is no waiting until conditions are perfect. There is one path that works for regular people without corporate sponsorship or family wealth: generate income that qualifies you, apply for visa, relocate. That’s it. That’s the whole thing. Everything else is details. The reason you keep asking “how do I move abroad” when you already know how is because you’re hoping someone will tell you different answer. Answer that doesn’t require you to do hard thing you’ve been avoiding. You want someone to say: just save this amount, or just apply to these jobs, or just wait until this timing, or just move to this one country that’s super easy. Something that fits into comfort zone you’re currently in. But comfortable path doesn’t exist. If it did, everyone would take it. The reason most people don’t move abroad isn’t because they can’t figure out how. It’s because knowing how and doing how are completely different things. You can know exactly what’s required and still not do it. Because doing it means: pitching services to strangers, building income stream from scratch, risking failure, being uncomfortable for extended period, taking action before feeling ready. All the information in world doesn’t eliminate discomfort of doing something you’ve never done before. And you’ve been conditioned to avoid discomfort, so you keep researching instead of executing. Research feels productive. Feels like progress. Feels like you’re working on it. But if research never converts to action, it’s just sophisticated way of staying stuck while pretending you’re moving forward. Watch video for the answer you already know but keep hoping will change. Link in bio for people ready to do the uncomfortable thing instead of researching it forever. How long have you known what you need to do without doing it? 🆘🇺🇸

4352:23
Replying to @theneauxexperience Americans think they need massive income to afford Europe because they're calculating European cost of living using American expense structure, which is backwards. The reason Americans feel broke isn't because they don't earn enough. It's because American life comes with mandatory expenses that consume income before you even get to basics like housing and food. Before American paycheck reaches rent, it's already been depleted by: health insurance premiums, student loan payments, car payments and insurance, childcare costs, retirement contributions because no pension exists, emergency fund because no safety net exists. What's left after those mandatory extractions is what you're trying to live on. And it's not enough. So you assume you'd need way more money to live in Europe where things seem expensive. But Europeans aren't paying those things. Their paycheck isn't being extracted before it reaches them. They're not: paying $500/month health insurance, paying $400/month student loans, paying $600/month car costs because they don't need cars, paying $1,200/month childcare. Remove those from budget and suddenly income that felt inadequate in America becomes comfortable in Europe. Not because Europe is cheaper across the board. Because expense categories that consume American income don't exist or cost fraction of American price. This is why visa programs in European countries set income thresholds around €1,500-2,000/month. Not because they think that's poverty level. Because that's genuinely livable income when you're not also hemorrhaging money on American-specific expense categories. Americans look at that threshold and think "I can't even pay my rent on that." Correct. In America. Because American rent is subsidizing: lack of public transportation, car-dependent infrastructure, healthcare tied to employment, education funding through property taxes. You're not just paying for housing. You're paying for all the infrastructure failures baked into what housing costs in car-dependent, service-poor, safety-net-absent American location. European housing costs less because: public transit reduces car dependency, healthcare isn't tied to location, schools funded nationally not by local property values, density reduces infrastructure costs per person. The average European isn't making six figures. They're making modest income that covers: housing, food, transportation, healthcare, education, recreation, savings. Because those things cost what they actually cost, not inflated American prices. Americans can't conceptualize this because only reference point is American expense structure where modest income leaves you broke. So you assume living well requires high income everywhere. But well-being isn't determined by income level. It's determined by relationship between income and expenses. Most countries have better relationship than America does. This is why Americans moving to Europe on same income they had in America describe feeling wealthy for first time. Income didn't change. Expenses did. Dramatically. Link in bio for people whose "Europe money" fears are based on American expense math that doesn't apply. What expense would disappear from your budget if you lived in Europe? 🆘🇺🇸

Replying to @theneauxexperience Americans think they need massive income to afford Europe because they're calculating European cost of living using American expense structure, which is backwards. The reason Americans feel broke isn't because they don't earn enough. It's because American life comes with mandatory expenses that consume income before you even get to basics like housing and food. Before American paycheck reaches rent, it's already been depleted by: health insurance premiums, student loan payments, car payments and insurance, childcare costs, retirement contributions because no pension exists, emergency fund because no safety net exists. What's left after those mandatory extractions is what you're trying to live on. And it's not enough. So you assume you'd need way more money to live in Europe where things seem expensive. But Europeans aren't paying those things. Their paycheck isn't being extracted before it reaches them. They're not: paying $500/month health insurance, paying $400/month student loans, paying $600/month car costs because they don't need cars, paying $1,200/month childcare. Remove those from budget and suddenly income that felt inadequate in America becomes comfortable in Europe. Not because Europe is cheaper across the board. Because expense categories that consume American income don't exist or cost fraction of American price. This is why visa programs in European countries set income thresholds around €1,500-2,000/month. Not because they think that's poverty level. Because that's genuinely livable income when you're not also hemorrhaging money on American-specific expense categories. Americans look at that threshold and think "I can't even pay my rent on that." Correct. In America. Because American rent is subsidizing: lack of public transportation, car-dependent infrastructure, healthcare tied to employment, education funding through property taxes. You're not just paying for housing. You're paying for all the infrastructure failures baked into what housing costs in car-dependent, service-poor, safety-net-absent American location. European housing costs less because: public transit reduces car dependency, healthcare isn't tied to location, schools funded nationally not by local property values, density reduces infrastructure costs per person. The average European isn't making six figures. They're making modest income that covers: housing, food, transportation, healthcare, education, recreation, savings. Because those things cost what they actually cost, not inflated American prices. Americans can't conceptualize this because only reference point is American expense structure where modest income leaves you broke. So you assume living well requires high income everywhere. But well-being isn't determined by income level. It's determined by relationship between income and expenses. Most countries have better relationship than America does. This is why Americans moving to Europe on same income they had in America describe feeling wealthy for first time. Income didn't change. Expenses did. Dramatically. Link in bio for people whose "Europe money" fears are based on American expense math that doesn't apply. What expense would disappear from your budget if you lived in Europe? 🆘🇺🇸

3752:37
The childhood your kids could have in America - same town, same school, same peers, same cultural context from birth through graduation - isn't objectively better than childhood that spans continents. It's just the default you're accepting without considering the alternative. American parents agonize over: which school district, which extracurriculars, which experiences will give kids advantages, which opportunities will set them up for success. All optimization within single geographic and cultural context. Meanwhile parents raising kids internationally are giving them: direct experience with how different cultures function, friendships spanning continents, perspectives on history and current events from multiple vantage points, adaptability from navigating change, identity that isn't tied to single nationality. The concern that moving kids internationally will harm them assumes stability and consistency are highest values in childhood development. But research on third culture kids shows: higher cultural intelligence, greater adaptability, broader worldview, stronger language acquisition, deeper understanding of global systems. These aren't theoretical benefits. These are observable outcomes in adults who were raised internationally as children. They navigate complexity better, adapt to change faster, connect across cultural differences more easily than peers who grew up in single location. The grief that comes with this lifestyle - missing places, leaving friends, constantly adapting to new contexts - is real. But grief and growth coexist. Kids can miss Japan while loving Portugal while being excited about next adventure. Capacity to hold complexity is itself valuable skill. American education teaches about world through textbooks and videos. International childhood teaches about world through direct experience. Reading about how different cultures approach education versus experiencing three different educational systems produces different depth of understanding. The friendships formed across countries aren't less meaningful because they're maintained digitally. They're often more intentional because distance requires effort. Kids choosing to maintain connection across time zones and continents are learning that relationships worth having are worth working for. The identity formation is different too. Instead of absorbing single national identity as default, third culture kids actively construct identity from multiple cultural influences. They choose what resonates, what feels true, what serves them - rather than inheriting single predetermined cultural package. This doesn't make them rootless or confused. It makes them flexible about what home means and confident that they can create belonging anywhere rather than believing belonging only exists in one specific place. The American parents keeping kids in America to provide stability are choosing known quantity over unknown possibility. That's valid choice. But it's choice, not requirement. And other choice produces different outcomes worth considering. Watch video for specific ways international childhood shapes kids differently than American childhood. Link in bio for parents ready to give kids global perspective instead of single-culture experience. 🆘🇺🇸

The childhood your kids could have in America - same town, same school, same peers, same cultural context from birth through graduation - isn't objectively better than childhood that spans continents. It's just the default you're accepting without considering the alternative. American parents agonize over: which school district, which extracurriculars, which experiences will give kids advantages, which opportunities will set them up for success. All optimization within single geographic and cultural context. Meanwhile parents raising kids internationally are giving them: direct experience with how different cultures function, friendships spanning continents, perspectives on history and current events from multiple vantage points, adaptability from navigating change, identity that isn't tied to single nationality. The concern that moving kids internationally will harm them assumes stability and consistency are highest values in childhood development. But research on third culture kids shows: higher cultural intelligence, greater adaptability, broader worldview, stronger language acquisition, deeper understanding of global systems. These aren't theoretical benefits. These are observable outcomes in adults who were raised internationally as children. They navigate complexity better, adapt to change faster, connect across cultural differences more easily than peers who grew up in single location. The grief that comes with this lifestyle - missing places, leaving friends, constantly adapting to new contexts - is real. But grief and growth coexist. Kids can miss Japan while loving Portugal while being excited about next adventure. Capacity to hold complexity is itself valuable skill. American education teaches about world through textbooks and videos. International childhood teaches about world through direct experience. Reading about how different cultures approach education versus experiencing three different educational systems produces different depth of understanding. The friendships formed across countries aren't less meaningful because they're maintained digitally. They're often more intentional because distance requires effort. Kids choosing to maintain connection across time zones and continents are learning that relationships worth having are worth working for. The identity formation is different too. Instead of absorbing single national identity as default, third culture kids actively construct identity from multiple cultural influences. They choose what resonates, what feels true, what serves them - rather than inheriting single predetermined cultural package. This doesn't make them rootless or confused. It makes them flexible about what home means and confident that they can create belonging anywhere rather than believing belonging only exists in one specific place. The American parents keeping kids in America to provide stability are choosing known quantity over unknown possibility. That's valid choice. But it's choice, not requirement. And other choice produces different outcomes worth considering. Watch video for specific ways international childhood shapes kids differently than American childhood. Link in bio for parents ready to give kids global perspective instead of single-culture experience. 🆘🇺🇸

2183:23