Are you over prioritizing the “Wrong” things in dating? It’s not bad to have preferences but when does that totally over shadow the things that you should really be focused on? #datingadvice #datingstorytime #relationshipadvice #lifecoachingtips #onlinedatingadvice #onlinedatingtip

This is a really good question. I'm actually glad someone asked me this question because it's very honest question. Here's what I'm going to say. The ironic thing is sometimes when we put a lot of superficial qualities, you know, around how we want our partner to show up, what they should look like, all of that stuff is that in the long run, we actually end up closing off our energy, right? Because we're putting superficial qualities above, let's be honest, the things that are truly going to matter in the long run. I can speak to that as someone who's been in a several long-term relationship, the things that actually matter are not those superficial things. And the fact that this question is so important, or rather the question is top of mind for you, was really telling me that you're basically setting out to the universe like I care more about superficial qualities than I do about the things that actually matter. And so what is going to happen, you are going to be trapped into this paradigm of dating where you get what you're putting out. So if you're putting out the fact that, okay, I'm judging you on your superficial qualities, guess what you're going to get back? You're going to get back people who are going to be judging you based on your own superficial qualities rather than what you actually have to give in terms of your connection. So you're probably not going to be attracting the highest quality of connection, the highest quality of partnerships. So actually the real work here is for you to deconstruct why you are so focused on the height thing. Is it because you feel like you need your partner to validate you in front of other people? Like, you know, it's not bad to have preferences, but just the fact that this seems to be such a strong attachment for you, that does signal something. It does signal that you are attaching to something because you need that, you need that thing. Otherwise, you do not feel X, right? Otherwise, you do not feel Y. So figure out what you are trying to cover up, figure out what you are trying to make up for in needing that X. And then once you approach the dating pool, it will be a lot, lot different. The kind of energy you're putting out will be a lot different. It will be easier for you to attract people in general, and maybe you'll even have a perspective shift on the required height that you're looking for, or maybe not, you know, but I would work on why is the height thing so important to you.