Replying to @Zubeidarrr we re-anchor ♥️ #externalanchors #externalregulation #nervoussystem #innerpeace #coregulation

So how you fix being stuck in people pleasing in no boundaries and anxiety and depression and hypervegillance and rejection sensitivity. How you stop doing that is instead of going to check all of your external anchors to make sure you're okay there and they're in there and overthinking you are right in that instance if they understand you there. Instead of checking everything all the time you start to build the inner anchor here and there are a couple ways to do that. One you can use those times where you're triggered and activated to re-anchor. So if someone triggers you and you're like what the fuck they triggered me again, they're mistreating me, they're such an asshole. Instead of going to them, instead of going to the story, instead of going and blaming them for how you're feeling you have to actually stay and feel it. Because a lot of the problem with external anchoring is that there's all these suppressed emotions and we have never actually felt our feelings. We have blamed other people for making us feel certain ways. We have thought about why we feel this way, we have analyzed our inner child wounds till we're blue in the face but we haven't actually felt anything. So when you have those triggers and activations you stay in the trigger and activation and you feel it and you're like okay this feels tight in my chest. Not why it's tight in my chest, not why I'm activated just oh it's right here and we breathe into it and we actually feel our feelings. That's one way you can re-anchor. Another way is to intentionally re-anchor. So then you're going through like in the liberation portal there's there's practices that you can go through each day each morning where you know where your anchors are, you know what's underneath your anchors because you have all these people that you're anchored into and a lot of times there's a common thread beneath them. So maybe the common thread beneath them is that you need to be understood or you need to be right or you need to be accepted or you need to be safe. Whatever is underneath the people, the actual anchor underneath the people, once you know that you can use the intentional re-anchoring practices to start pulling them back. Why do you need to feel certain so that you're safe and you can get to the bottom of all of these anchors? Why do you want them to like you so that you're secure? Secure in what? And you keep going for me like with my in-laws. I wanted my in-laws to like me. Why? Because they were relationally important to my husband and I felt like if they didn't like me then that could possibly make my husband not like me and why would it matter if my husband doesn't like me? Then I'm not secure in my relationship. Well what happens if I'm not secure in my relationship? Then I don't feel secure myself and then I don't like feel like validated or loved and then I don't feel safe. Do you see like how you get to the bottom of each of your anchors? So I then worked through my anchors. I intentionally re-anchored. I gave myself safety. I gave myself security. I no longer need things from my husband and no longer need things from my family. I can just provide them for myself and so all of the relationship in my life are just bonus. They're extra. They're enjoyable because I'm no longer requiring anyone to provide something for me. I no longer resent them when they don't provide something for me and it's all co-regulated relationship except instead of an external regulated relationship. If you want to do more of this this is what's in the Liberation Portal. Comment anchor and I'll send it to you.