Replying to @1lovedmomof2crazyboys Just because your ex is a douche does not mean you shouldn’t move heaven and Earth to keep your babies safe. The art of getting people to do what you want can be learned. You can even use the hott women of the new country to try and convince that ex that moving abroad is the right move. Tap into that man’s narcissistic manipulative brain and use psychology to make him realize this is in his best interest. Getting your kids abroad and away from the school shootings should outweigh your pride when it comes to dealing with your ex. Have no shame and be creative! Use financial motivation. Stroke his ego. Dangle the appropriate carrots. You got this. 🆘🇺🇸
@nomadveronicaTranscript
A lot of women who want to move abroad are divorced and they express that their ex-partners would have no interest or willingness to allow them to take their children overseas because they have custody arrangements. What I want to express about custody arrangements when it comes to moving abroad is that custody arrangements can 100% be changed and they are changed all the time. So this is not a rare thing. Even thinking about their custody arrangements as adversarial like you would be going to that ex-partner asking for something that they do not want are probably set up for failure. But what I urge every woman with this arrangement to consider is that there are things that your ex-partner does want and how can you make the things that they want and what you want align. Now I realize, this is probably giving that ex-partner so much more kindness and empathy and logic than they deserve. But what you can do is try to figure out how you moving abroad with the kids aligns with what they want. You might be surprised to find out that they actually would be willing to move abroad or they actually would be willing to just have them in the summers or over certain school breaks. And if they agree straight away, then all the better, no argument necessary. If they don't think it's a good idea, you can start strategizing about how to align what they do want with what you want. The reason you need to have a shift in perspective when it comes to renegotiating your custody deal is because oftentimes what that ex-partner wants is to see you miserable. And so your desire to want them happy has to outweigh their desire to see you upset. Instead, make sure you have a bunch of ideas that you can go into a mediation with to propose that will get him closer to what it is that he ultimately wants and dig deep on that. What does he actually want? Not what does he say he wants? What does he want that he might not be saying and how can you get that for him? Because when you get him what he wants, then you can have more of what you want, which in this case is moving abroad. And if you're wanting to have an exploratory meeting about how moving abroad would look for your family and that person is willing to get on a call with me, we can do that together where we can show the pros and the cons of each different location and how that would look for him, for you and for the kids so that you can come to a mutual decision that's best for the kids. As a mom who moved out of the United States five years ago with her kids, I'm absolutely committed to helping as many mothers and as many children move out of the United States as possible. I just do not see how you can possibly consider that country safe to raise your children at this point. I'm willing to be in your corner and help convince an ex-partner that this is the right move in order to get you safe and moved abroad.
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