The Americans who came back after moving abroad usually return for one reason: unrealistic expectations they refuse to adjust. They thought moving to X country would solve internal problems geography can't fix. They thought their new life would be flawless. No bureaucracy. No adjustment period. No cultural friction. Instant happiness. Then reality hit. Visas are complicated. Integration takes time. Loneliness happens even in beautiful places. And instead of recalibrating - recognizing what's working, addressing what's not, maybe trying a different country - they retreat to America. Not because living abroad doesn't work. Because they attached their entire identity to one specific country being THE solution. When you chase a country, one disappointment feels like total failure. When you chase a feeling (calm, safety, connection, freedom), you can switch countries without it feeling like defeat. We've lived in three countries. Each one taught us something. None were perfect. All moved us closer to what we're actually chasing. The Americans who came back successfully often just picked the wrong country first and thought that meant all countries were wrong. Link in bio when you're ready to be flexible about location while staying committed to the feeling you want. 🆘🇺🇸 #TikTokCreatorSearchInsightsIncentive
@nomadveronicaTranscript
Sometimes Americans who have moved abroad end up moving back to the United States. And the reason they do that is maybe not what you would think. Hi, I'm Veronica, and five years ago my family of four moved out of the United States for good, and now I teach other Americans how they can move abroad. One of the things that happens during the move abroad process is that people start to create expectations of the new country, and they move abroad with this idea of what their life is going to look like, and then they arrive, and life doesn't look like their expectations. And that mismatch often makes people feel like the move abroad has failed. And that is what causes a lot of Americans to boomerang back to the United States, and basically go home with their tail between their legs like they have failed. But in fact, it's not a failure. You have learned something new. And my clients know that instead of chasing a particular country, as the goal, they should be chasing a feeling. For example, for our life, we are chasing the feelings of calm, freedom, and connection. The countries that we live in have to meet those criteria. We're not obsessed with moving to France, or we're not obsessed with a certain weather pattern. We are obsessed with making sure that our family feels calm, free, and connected. That's what we chase, and that's why we don't end up going back to the United States, as though we have failed, even though we've lived in three different countries over the last five years. It's because we learned something new about what would make us feel the things we want to feel, and we just pick a new country based on the new information we have about ourselves. So if you're an American living abroad, and you're feeling like the place that you're living is not doing it for you, don't think of it as a failure. Think of it as a learning experience, and shift your focus from this country was the goal to the feelings that you want to feel, and find a new country that fulfills the goals that you have instead of these expectations that are probably impossible for any place to meet. Moving abroad can be challenging, but there's coaches like me who can help you so that you're emotionally ready, and logistically ready for that move abroad process. Or on the flip side, there's also coaches that exist to help you reintegrate into American culture after having lived abroad for a while. So on either end, there's people who are willing to help you with your integration process.
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The life you've built in America isn't the life you wanted. It's the life you could scrape together under constraints of: wages that don't cover basics, healthcare tied to employment, housing costs consuming half your income, constant financial stress, survival mode as default state. You didn't choose misery. You chose best option available within impossible constraints. But those constraints are geographic. Change geography, change constraints, change what's possible. The apartment you can barely afford in America becomes the nice place with breathing room abroad. The paycheck that barely covers survival in America becomes the income that allows saving abroad. The constant stress about one emergency destroying you financially becomes manageable situation where emergencies are expensive but not catastrophic. Same income. Same skills. Same person. Different location. Completely different life. You're not stuck because you lack resources. You're stuck because resources you have don't work in location you're in. Move those resources to location where they work better, and you're not stuck anymore. But moving requires: tolerating uncertainty about how things will work out, being uncomfortable while figuring out new systems, releasing familiar patterns even when familiar is miserable, trusting you can build better life from scratch. Most people choose familiar misery over unfamiliar uncertainty. Devil you know feels safer than devil you don't, even when devil you know is grinding you down. This is why people stay in: jobs they hate, relationships that don't work, locations that don't serve them, lives that feel like slow suffocation. Because at least they know how to survive current misery. Unknown is terrifying even when unknown might be better. But what if you're not choosing between misery and uncertainty? What if you're choosing between: familiar misery that will continue indefinitely, or temporary uncertainty that leads to actually building life you want? When you're in survival mode, you're making choices based on: what's cheapest, what's fastest, what gets you through next month, what keeps crisis at bay. Not what you actually want. What you can manage given constraints. Those choices compound into life that doesn't reflect your preferences. Reflects what you could piece together while drowning. But when you move somewhere your income works better, you're not in survival mode anymore. You have breathing room to choose based on: what you actually want, what serves your family, what creates life you're proud of. That's not small difference. That's the difference between life you're enduring and life you're choosing. Living in America isn't default you're stuck with. It's choice you're making every day by not choosing differently. And choosing differently is available to you. Link in bio for people ready to choose. What would you choose if survival wasn't consuming all your energy? 🆘🇺🇸