Men have egos. Every single one of them wants to one up the last guy for better or for worse. đď¸ Hosting an event in London on May 8th. Link in bio for tickets. #feminineenergy #avoidantattachment #relationships #datingforwomen #datingadvice
@anxiouslyalejTranscript
Men bond over their suffering, not yours, and that's why you never tell a man about all the trauma you experienced in your past relationship. Because I'll tell you what actually happens when you do that because I see it all the time in my 101 sessions. What he actually thinks is weight. You tolerated all that, but you said I am so much better than him. And if I am so much better than him, then why am I being held to a higher standard that he never was? In psychology, this is called anchoring, which means that the first piece of information that somebody receives becomes the reference point for everything that follows. So when you give him a reference point that's in the depths of hell, that's actually what he measures himself against. Let me ask you a question. When was the last time you were applying for jobs and you were reading job descriptions and you were going to interviews? And they said, "I am so glad that you're here." The last person that held this position embezzled $100,000 from the company. You would never hear that because HR guards that information. And if they did tell you that, I promise you. You wouldn't be thinking, "I'm going to treat them so much better." You would be looking at leadership and thinking which one of you was stupid enough to let this happen. Because I know you're surely not going to tell me how to do my job because look what you let happen on your watch. And that's why you never use your past as a bonding tool. Because unconsciously, what you communicate is this is the most important thing that will ever happen to me. And so he says, "Okay, if this is what makes somebody important, then maybe I should do something similar or worse so I can be even more memorable."
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Men donât change when you ask them to. They change when theyâre forced to face themselves. #feminineenergy #relationships #datingadvice #avoidantattachment #womensdatingadvice

How To Command Respect Through Your Actions âŹď¸ 1ď¸âŁ Say less, observe more. People reveal who they are through actions. Stop filling awkward silences with explanationsâlet their behavior speak. 2ď¸âŁ Stop rewarding bad behavior. Attentionâeven negative attentionâis a reward. Donât argue, donât chase. Let them feel your absence. 3ď¸âŁ Master emotional discipline. If they canât trigger you, they canât control you. Regulate and validate yourself. 4ď¸âŁ Enforce boundaries without debate. Boundaries donât need essays. A simple ânoâ or change in access is enough. 5ď¸âŁ Be unpredictable in your responses. Toxic people thrive on patterns. When you stop reacting the way they expect, you stop feeding their game. 6ď¸âŁ Invest energy only in the respectful. Watch who earns your time. If they donât, redirect your focus to your own growth. 7ď¸âŁ Stay detached from outcomes. Real power is knowing youâll be okay with or without them. That energy commands respect like nothing else. The most devastating thing you can make someone feel? That they donât matter. Not anger. Not rage. Indifference is power. Psychological studies show that ignoring disrespectful behavior is far more effective than reacting emotionally. Thatâs why prisons use isolation as the harshest punishment - because being invisible hurts more than any words ever could. Negative attention is still attention. If you want to teach someone how to treat you, stop begging. Stop over-explaining. Distance + disinterest = respect. đ Keywords: avoidant attachment, anxious attachment, avoidant ex blocked me, dismissive avoidant breakup, healing from breakup, emotionally unavailable men, anxious avoidant dynamic, blocked after breakup, emotional detachment, emotional healing. #feminineenergy #womensdatingadvice #blackcatenergy #datingforwomen #relationships #datingadvice #avoidantattachment #datinginyour30s #datingcoachforwomen

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