Replying to @meilimeagan @Sophie Morgan Burns

Here's an example of speaking to the empowered part of someone else that might show up in relationship, that might show up with your partner and your loved ones and something like this. So in relationship, we have our needs and our desires and our bars at a certain height. Sometimes we have expectations of how we want to feel, we want things to go, etc, etc. Our partners aren't always aware of how to actually meet us there. They don't always have the blueprint or the instinctual knowing of how to love us, exactly how we want to be loved, you know, or how to meet us in the way that we are asking to be met. We're longing to be met. And so we really have to learn how do we communicate to our partner effectively, lovingly. And I think this is actually a really helpful thing for understanding this, you know, I'm okay, you're okay, you know, I'm okay, you're not okay, kind of positionality. And speaking to the empowered part of them and recognizing, sometimes we just have to call it forth. And so you can imagine an example where your partner forgets something that you asked for or you had an expectation of what something was going to be like and it wasn't. And so you're sitting there with your emotions and you're having a reaction and you're having an experience. And your partner doesn't know, they don't know what they did wrong, they don't know what's going on, they don't know what your need was that they weren't able to meet. They don't have a blueprint, they didn't know that going in, right? Because so much of relationship is just learning, it's just being in the dance and it's having these experiences and then repairing them and learning how to communicate and growing together. But so you can imagine an experience where there is that you're having a reaction, they don't quite know what's going on. You could choose to speak to the disempowered part of them, speaking to the part of them that you think is not okay, right? I'm okay, you're not okay because you didn't show up for me because you drop the ball because x, y and z. And now you're the one bringing this really heavy, sometimes aggressive energy into the relationship. And there's another way of being with that, right? It's one recognizing, okay, I'm having a reaction right now, you know? The lack of this thing is affecting me. I really need this thing, right? So you can do a check-in like, oh, is this something that I need to offer myself or is this something that I really want my partner to offer to me? And there's some nuance there, but ultimately if you decide that you want more of that from your partner, if you were to speak to the empowered part of them, you could call that empowered part fourth, right? Like with kindness, but also firmness, you know? I really appreciated last time when you called beforehand, you know? It meant a lot to me, it made me feel seen, it made me feel safe, it made me feel like you cared. And this time when that didn't happen, you know, I hope you didn't mean anything by it, but it really affected me, you know? And so like I really want more of that, like can you bring forward more of that? I want to feel you there, you know? And you can even bring your arrows and you can even bring your heart in and like instead of shutting down yourself because of that reactivity, you can use it as an experience to conjure your own courage of vulnerability and open-heartedness and ask them to meet you there. This is very effective, oh my gosh, it's very effective. People respond so much better to kindness and invitation and praise than to punishment, than to you trying to create the positionality that I'm okay, I know how to show up for you and you don't. You know what I'm saying? I think this happens pretty often in relationships, especially in the early days when you're still like really learning how to dance with each other. So I hope this helps.