how to live empowered & empower others:

I'm going to give you a psychological hack that can transform the way that you experience reality relationships and just give you like the ability to see through the kinds of dynamics and roles that people are playing. This is literally can change your life. It's changed my life since I've learned it. I learned it from my 87-year-old elder mentor, Judith Johnson, who I've been working with for over three years. She pioneered a methodology called psycho neuro energetics and what I'm about to teach you right now comes from a branch of psychology called transactional analysis. So what I'm going to do right now is I'm going to invite you to start speaking to the most empowered part of other people. And as you do this in your life, I want you to also start noticing when people are not speaking to the most empowered part of you. How often people are actually speaking to what they are projecting the most disempowered part of you and how sometimes you have a resonant match for that and you enter into these dynamics, these patterns, these roles, these relationships that actually just reinforce this false hierarchy. Let me explain. So a lot of us have a belief system inside of us and there's kind of a quadrant. There's four ways this can go. There's either I'm okay, you're okay, which is a very neutral, great place to relate from. Like, dude, I'm good, you're good. And now we're just relating. No one's trying to manipulate anybody, everybody's vibing. Then you have this part of the quadrant which says, I'm not okay, you're okay. A lot of people have this. A lot of people have a deep, not trust in themselves, not faith in themselves, and then they look at other people and they think, oh, that person has it. And it's this pedestalization, this looking up to someone, it's this inferiority complex kind of a thing. And then you have this quadrant which says, I'm okay, you're not okay. This happens all the time also and it happens very subconsciously in a lot of us. These ways that we judge others, these ways that we actually create a hierarchical positioning over someone else, a superiority, so that we maintain a sense of identity for ourselves and we have to use this hierarchical separation to do so. And we often put people down and it's either judgment that happens in our mind, but oftentimes it gets projected subconsciously in the ways that we relate and speak to other people. And finally, you have this area of the quadrant which is, I'm not okay, you're not okay. And that is a very toxic relational place to be and it also happens all the time. And it's usually the kinds of manipulations that just kick up drama because if someone's not okay then no one's allowed to be okay. But what I really want to talk about right now is just these two imbalances of, I'm not okay, you're okay, and I'm okay, you're not okay. Those two dynamics show up all the time. And if you subconsciously are programmed to buy into one of those two things, when someone comes into your life and they start speaking to the most disempowered part of you, if you have that, I'm not okay, you're okay complex, you're going to buy into that relationship. And basically what you're going to be doing is you're going to be having this egoic manipulative relationship just playing out something to satisfy some part of your ego that doesn't believe highly enough in yourself. And you're also simultaneously letting someone else get off without thinking that they're better than you. And this happens in the inverse, this happens all the time. And usually this is just us having unresolved relationships with our parents, with our childhood with things that we've experienced in our lives. And so we feel safer to actually relate from these manipulations and from these stories and these patterns than to actually do the work of just owning what's ours, recognizing where our shadows are in our own subconscious and doing the deep work to speak to the empowered part of other people and speak up on behalf of ourselves when we find someone trying to rope us into a dynamic of our own disempowerment and let them know, I'm okay, you're okay. And here we get to start co-regulating and repatterning together to move out of these egoic relations and into deeper, just free love, soul, authentic connections where we're not trying to mess with other people just to feel some kind of safety in our own identity. We don't need that. It's not so fragile, we can relate from much deeper place.