I really do hate myself so bad #Minecraft #venting #relatable #deep #fyp

The worst part about hating yourself is when you realize you've been treating yourself worse than anyone who ever hurt you. Like you're so quick to forgive everyone else for everything, but you've been holding this hate against yourself for years, and you don't even remember how it started. You just know it's there, and it's heavy, and it shows up in every mirror, every quiet moment, every time someone tries to love you, and you just think, "Why?" Like, what is wrong with me that I can't just accept it? Why I can't just love myself? And then there's the self-harm part, which isn't always physical. Sometimes it's staying in rooms that shrink you. It's working until your bones ache. It's pushing away the people who actually see you, because being seen feels like being dissected, and you'd rather be invisible than have someone confirm what you already believe about yourself. And the scariest part is when it gets quiet, and you have to sit with yourself, and you realize you don't even like sitting with you, and you wonder if you'll ever feel home in your own body, or if this is just it, just surviving, just existing, just waiting for something to finally feel different.