How to "Remove" an Avoidant's Fear of Commitment! #Relationship #lawofattraction

The next one is you reassure them of their fears. This is different than the way anxious folks need reassurance. It's not, I'm here for you. I'm never going to leave you, even though that can help. It's more like I'm not trying to manipulate you. I'm just asking, I promise. If you don't end up meeting me at this time, that's okay, we can reschedule. I'm not going to get mad. Or I'm not going to suddenly ask for marriage just because we moved in together. I hope that you can trust me and appreciate me for who I am as I appreciate you for who you are. Those are examples that are reassuring their fears. The next one is acknowledging their efforts. I really appreciate that you put an effort for a relationship. I really appreciate that you want to change. I really appreciate that you have changed, et cetera. The next one is you want to address, actually when your address and commitment is a better way to put it. You want to reinforce your trustworthiness. You can say that, you can say something like, actually, let's give an example. Let's say you and your significant other want to move in together, or that's the conversation you guys are having. They're saying, I don't know if we should move in together because I've never lived with anybody. I really like my space. I don't want us to always be fighting all the time and I'm afraid of that or something like that. Maybe they won't say afraid. I'm just not ready for that. You can say, I appreciate you sharing and be honest. I do want to let you know that I've thought about that as well. I also don't want you to lose those things. I don't want to lose those things either. But I think it's important that I want to make it a point to give you space in general. I want to make it a point to not pick fights as much. And I want to reassure you that I don't feel like that's going to happen. And I hope that you can trust that. I know it's not easy to trust those things and we can revisit this topic later. But I do want you to see that I've been making improvement in general. And so I hope that that's not going to come into that space. Something of that sort, communicate as you please. But you want to reinforce your trustworthiness. I'm working on this. This is something I want to do. This is the way I want to be, et cetera. It really helps them. The next one is when they say maybe or I'm not sure, address it directly. And mention that they have a non-committal response. I know this is going to sound strange because a lot of you guys are thinking, oh, I have to be gentle and soft with them. Well, you have to be balanced, right? If they're saying a non-committal response, you can mention, I think that, you know, that's non-committal. You don't really know what to say. And I want, I would like a more direct response. I hear saying if you don't have the answer right now, but I want you to get to a point where you can be more committed with responding. Something like yes, or we can talk about that at this time, or I'm looking into that. Something a little bit more committed than I'm not sure or maybe. And you can say, let's revisit that when you feel more comfortable with that, but that's what I'm expecting. The next one is you want to speak how you feel without expecting immediate change. What we just spoke about is a really good example. I don't appreciate you having a non-committal response. I understand that's the way you are at this point. And I can appreciate, you know, meeting you halfway as well. But I'm hoping that at some point we can get more comfortable with both of us giving more committed responses, okay? The next one is you want to be non-judgmental in general. I understand that you're uncomfortable with certain things and I'm not judging you for that. I'm uncomfortable with certain things as well. I just want us to compromise and meet in the middle, okay? That's it. Then the next one is acknowledge your mistakes in the relationship and not really express your commitment to change. I understand sometimes I can be very overwhelming. And I want to get better about that. Let me know if you see an improvement because I'm working on that as well. The next one is something to keep in mind. You do typically need to expect a slower than secure timeline. If secure folks get married in like two or three years, you're going to get married in five, six, seven years. It's just true. And I think it's important to recognize that not all the time is at the case, but it is more important in the last one is you want to respect your partner. Respect is different depending on each partner. You can ask them, but let's go ahead and summarize and wrap it up. You want to provide space that's built into the relationship. You want to reassure them of their fears, not your fears, acknowledge their efforts when addressing commitment. You want to reinforce your trustworthiness. You want to make sure that it sounds like you are a person that also is willing to adjust them, or just or meet them halfway. It's kind of the way to put it. When they give you a non-committal response, you want to address that and expect some change. You want to speak how you feel without expecting immediate change, but change in the future. You want to be non-judgmental in general, not even with them, but in general. You want to acknowledge your mistakes and also outwardly express verbally that you want to change. Expect a slower timeline for commitment and then respect your partner. I hope this video is helpful to somebody. please like, subscribe, I'll see you in the next one.