and I don't know how to love myself whatever I did try to... #Minecraft #venting #relatable #deep #fyp

Sometimes when I look at myself in the mirror, the first thing I feel is this quiet kind of disgust. Like I don't even recognize how people walk around being okay with themselves. Because every time I look at me, all I see are things I wish were different. I feel so disgusting of myself that I start to hate everything about me. I hate the way I look, I hate the way I sound, I hate the way I exist in this life, I hate me. And it's exhausting, because people always talk about self-love, like it's something you can just decide one day. But I've tried, I tried to love myself, and telling myself I'm not that bad. I tried ignoring the thoughts, I tried pretending I'm confident, but none of it ever sticks. Because deep down, there's this voice that keeps reminding me that I'm not someone I would ever choose to be if I had the option. And that's the part that hurts the most. Realizing that the one person I'm stuck with for my entire life is the same person I can't stand being. And sometimes I wonder what it must feel like to wake up and not feel embarrassed by your own existence. To look in the mirror and not immediately start picking yourself apart, like you're some kind of mistake that needs fixing. Like no matter what I do, I always come back to the same thought that there is nothing about me that I genuinely like. And I wish I understood why it's so easy for everyone else to exist without feeling this uncomfortable in their own skin.