had to send an important email during @Salma Zaky’s set and accidentally typed 'is a hotdog a sandwich?' new fav email sign-off. thanks for giving us the gmail giggles, salma ✨🎤 #standupdesk #officelife #comedy

Okay. Well, this is my last set. I'll ever do in my life. Now this is fun. Excited to be here. This is awesome and normal. No one's actually working. This is a team that doesn't work. I can tell by how you guys dress. I went through a breakup recently. We had that conversation about how many people we've hooked up with. It's never a good conversation and he didn't want to answer. So what he ended up saying was a handful. He was like, I don't know just a handful of girls and I was like, okay, but like a handful of what? I need a better gauge, like a handful of apples or a handful of skittles. And he looked at me and he was like, I don't know, like a handful of rice. Uh-oh. Long grain or couscous? Brian. Yeah, I'm a single now. Got rid of the dead weight, you know? I killed them. Every time I go in a first date with a guy, we go to a bar. I get a drink. I take a sip and then I go first one in eight years. My first when I'm drunk, it's cute. I'm like pineapple on pizza, yes or no. You guys have to look at my face for this to work. I do think a hot dog is a sandwich, yes or no. But then I get to that last drink and I'm like, you ever thought about pushing someone onto the tracks? Yes or no? Not really getting a second date there.