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I was literally slacking my work wife, 'hey twin.' Had to delete. Thanks for the workplace hijinks, @Dorian DeBose! #standupdesk #comedy #standup #office

@standupdeskshow
521.9K views97.5K likes1:02ENSep 19, 2026
186 words915 characters27 sentencesReadability: Grade 2

Transcript

We're the bad s**t is it? I'm bisexual. Who can relate? I understand. I'm also not bisexual when I clock in. It's I. I used to be bisexual in the state of Kansas, which means I was a hero. Now I'm bisexual with a Bushwick Brooklyn. It means I'm straight and it sucks. Men like to invite me on like a lot of weed dates. When the entire premise of the day is like you get together. You smoke some weed. You feel out the vibe. weed makes me anxious. So I know what the vibe is going to be. I take two puffs. I lock myself in your bathroom. I start writing apocalyptic slam poetry. And then I pass out because I forgot to breathe. You like that baby boy? You like how daddy is concussed? We're dating apps. Pop showing me guys who look like me. Like I had a guy mess with me on Grindr. Hey Twin, no sir. If we can get into Zack and Cody Hodgings, we are not a match. I'm sorry for calling us like daddy in your office.