Ok, if you see something, say something, but you DIDN'T SEE ME. Would catch strays anytime to work next to @CarolinaMontesquieu. #standupdesk #moms #comedy

- You look just like this girl that pushed me on the subway the other day. Like identical, was it you? - I was talking to my mom about my hair. I'm on a curly hair journey. I was talking to her about my afro. I was like, oh my gosh, I can't wait to have a bigger afro, so exciting. She said, well, if you lose weight, your hair is gonna look bigger. Like cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. I'm putting her into nursing home. I think about it often, how it's gonna go when I drop her off. She's gonna complain about how small her room is at the nursing home because they paid for the smallest one. So I can say, hey, if you lose some weight, this room is gonna look so much bigger. (audience laughing) She wanted American children. She's gonna get the full American experience. It's regret, bingo, and slop. I'm like a white girl. (audience cheering)