Putting in PTO to win $8K from Meryl Streep. See you at the Survivor 50 finale @alon_elian #standupdesk

I think the worst thing that a woman could do for a man is to love and accept him for who he is. I live with my girlfriend now. We like to watch the reality competition shows. I mean, I haven't seen these shows in like 20 years 'cause I was single, you're not allowed. You gotta be in a couple. Single guy that watches reality TV alone has killed minimum 40 people. You stay away from that guy. But they've gotten crazy. Like 30 years ago, a reality competition show was like, we put a bunch of people on an island, last person standing, wins a million dollars. That's it, that's the show. Now it's like 100 singles. 20 horses, four abandoned cruise ships, a witch. Whoever gets voted into the Verizon Wireless secret bakeoff presented by Pepsi Wireless. Before they're kidnapped by the masked king, wins $8,000 before taxes. The prize have gotten very low. And the host they get are wild, 'cause the movie industry is dead. They're just like, please welcome three-time Academy Award winner, Meryl Streep. (audience applauding)