Desperate for an office nickname as cool as @Alairethomas #standupdesk #officehumor #comedy

I've been struggling with not enough people to tap me up. A week ago, I went to a party and a guy introducing himself to everybody. He went, "Dap, dab, looked at me, fist pumped me." And I looked at my friend and I was like, "Why?" And it turns out it's because I look like someone who calls her mom by her first name. Your parents are like, "Oh my gosh, don't drink, "don't do drugs, don't do anything I want to do." And I'm like, "Okay, mom, but what drugs did you do?" And she's like, "Oh, you know, just the classic "w*ing, f*ck, f*ck, f*ck." And she's like, "Don't worry, I stopped doing crap "after you were born." Is that why I have ADHD? I got engaged last year. And my fiancee wants everything in our wedding to be white, like a psychopath. And so we were picking out wedding invitations. And my fiancee's like, "Okay, for our invitations, "do you like the shade Snow White, "or do you like the shade Ghost White?" And I was like, "Those are pictures of my cousins, okay? "Those are our street names. "We got Ghosty Snowy and me, Sour Cream." (audience cheering)