I love my job like I wanted it too, @Riefcomedy. #standupdesk #funny #comedy
I'm a parent, and I love my son like I wanted him. I had my son when I was 17, and to be honest with you guys, it got that quiet when I told my mo...
I’m responding to Slack messages during Pilates, so I’m also not in a good place to receive feedback. You don’t need the post to look good, @Conor Janda. #standupdesk #funny #comedy
I don't think it's possible to ghost a man for the same reason that you wouldn't say someone ghosted a hurricane. You would say that they fled fro...
We can't believe they doubted you, @Nick Viagas #standupdesk #comedy
I get a rectal dysfunction sometimes. Thank you. One time it happened to me while I was sleeping with a black woman. Yeah, and I was afraid she wa...
And that's why I don't let my male co-workers fill up my water bottle. See you around the water cooler, @Courtney Maginnis #standupdesk
I love work, uh, work, work, work. I love it like Rihanna. The work in fashion, I work with all women. That's the best part. I see some men in her...
YOU RANG? Back by popular confusion: it's the one, the only, the lonely @Zach Zucker. #standupdesk #comedy #office
What's my stance on a- I don't know. Probably something like this. Feminist icon. I love the ladies I'm an ally. I lie a lot. Allegedly. I'm a fan...
Couldn't explain the footprints on the table to my boss. Thanks for not going racial, @Zach Zucker! #standupdesk #fyp #comedy
great to be here in New York. Now this gonna make me go viral, gonna make me engagement. Then I'm on next show. Back row! yeah yeah I'm on the tab...
Ok, if you see something, say something, but you DIDN'T SEE ME. Would catch strays anytime to work next to @CarolinaMontesquieu. #standupdesk #moms #comedy
- You look just like this girl that pushed me on the subway the other day. Like identical, was it you? - I was talking to my mom about my hair. I'...
I said nothing and typed as fast as I could. Thanks for the free therapy @André De Freitas. #standupdesk #therapy #MentalHealth #comedy
- If it's been the best time of your life, say nothing and continue typing. - Nailed it. You know this feels like, remember when you're a kid and ...
I’m a Heated Rivalry truther now. Thanks, @Alistair Ogden. #standupdesk #comedy #canada
I'm Canadian, I'm trying to repair the relationship between our countries. We gave you guys heated rivalry and then you guys were like actually th...
Gave Frozen 3 five-stars on Letterboxd. Thanks for the DVDs @maliktheoracle. #standupdesk #jobs #letterboxd
applied to a job here multiple times. Clearly, I didn't get it. I don't know if it's because of my name. Could be Malik, it could be Malik. I feel...
Got in trouble for laughing during an HR training thanks to @MrJacobWilliams #standupdesk #bachelor #comedy
- All right, hello, how's it going? Okay, cool me, too. Well, good to be here. I've been watching that show, The Golden Bachelor. It's like a dati...
I was supposed to write emails, but I can't stop thinking about the single-file lines. You've got our vote @TaTa Sherise. #standupdesk #comedy #ericadams
My spirit is telling me y'all laughin' inside. Yeah. Well, they thought it was good. I feel like everybody gets a chance to be in charge. On a loc...